Parted Jokes

Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day on Earth. The course they were on had a particularly difficult hole, and Moses expressed his doubts that Jesus could make the shot over the water. "Ah no, Moses, I think I can do it," explained Jesus. "I've seen Arnold Palmer make this shot, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, then so can I." Moses rolled his eyes and let Jesus try. Sure enough, the ball splashed into the water. Moses parted the water for Jesus, who went in to retrieve his ball. Jesus, however, was not ready to give up. "I know I can do this, Moses -- I've seen Arnold Palmer do it, and if he can do it, then so can I." True to form, however, Jesus' ball ended up back in the water. Moses parted the water, and Jesus went in to retrieve the ball. "Look, Jesus," said Moses. "Try again if you like, but I'm not parting the water for you again." "Fair enough, Moses," said Jesus. "But you know, I've seen Arnold Palmer make more...

The Missing Toupee! On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!"The driver didn't think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later, that very same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!"This time, he knew it had to be taken care of soon. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to see if they had any knowledge of what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor underneath the seats and stooped down to question him." Excuse me, sir, can I help you?" The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny, you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it. I thought I'd more...