Pedestrians Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following item was extracted from the travel section of a UK daily newspaper:
Travelling in India is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable - and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous.
Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on an ancient text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English.
ARTICLE I
The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.
ARTICLE II
The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to: cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks, buffalo, Jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.
ARTICLE III
All wheeled vehicles more...

There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead.

1) When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow oncoming traffic to pass.
2) Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.
3) The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.
4) Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.
5) Always look both ways when running a red light.
6) Never use directional signals when changing lanes. They only warn other drivers to speed up and not let you in.
7) Making eye contact revokes your right of way.
8) Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps into the road, speed
up, honk or yell loudly and chase him back up on the curb. Pedestrians have no rights.

When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow oncoming traffic to pass.
Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.
The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.
Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.
Always look both ways when running a red light.
Never use directional signals when changing lanes. They only warn other drivers to speed up and not let you in.
Making eye contact revokes your right of way.
Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps into the road, speed up, honk or yell obscenities loudly and chase him back upon the curb. Pedestrians have no rights.

The following item was extracted from the travel section of a UK daily newspaper: Travelling in India is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable - and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous.
Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on an ancient text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English.
ARTICLE I
The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.
ARTICLE II
The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to: cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks, buffalo, Jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.
ARTICLE III
All wheeled vehicles more...