Peed Jokes

A patient complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night.
"Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor said.
"Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee."
"OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, "No, we've already peed."
Next time the patient came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So? Did you do as I said?
"Yes, I did."
"Did it help?"
"Yes, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse."
"How?"
"As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little."

There is a fammily of 6. The dad goes out one day to hunt when he gets home he puts the b b's from the gun on the counter. The wife knocked the b b's into a soup that she has ben working on for houres. She said "O WHAT THE HELL WATS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN." So the family eats the soup. The next day the yongest dauter comes running down the satirs."momey Momey youl never gues what happend i went to the bath room and peed b b's". The mother said go back up and il help you in a sec. yhis happend with here other two dauters. Then her son came down,"mom youl never guess what happened the mom sad yo peed bh b's right. the son said "NO I WAS JERKING OFF AND I SHOT THE DOG."

One day there was a grandmother, her 2 grandaughters, and her grandson and they were baking a cake. And as they were baking the cake their grandmother accidently put bullets in the cake, but she said that it will be ok. And so they finished the cake and the grandchildren ate it and a couple hours later her first grandaughter came downstairs and told her grandmother that she had peed out a bullet. Then a couple minuets later her second grandaughter came down and said grandma grandma I peed out a bullet. Then her grandson came down a couple minuets later and said grandma grandma guess what. and his grandma said let me guess you peed out a bullet too. Then, the grandon said no, I was jacking off and i shot the dog.

One day Mary, a mom of 3, was making a pie for her kids. Johnny was 5, steve was 10, and Cortez was 15. Steve had a BB gun and left the box of BBs on on the kitchen table. While Mary was cooking the pie she turned and the box of BBs fell into the pie mix. She decided not to worry about and left them in without tell her children. After dinner, the desert was the pie and every kid had 2 pieces. The next day when they got home johnny went to his mom and say that he peed out little silver balls and Mary told him not to worry about it. Then steve came to her and said the same thing and she told him not to worry about it. Then Cortez came to mary and mary said, "let me guess, you peed out little silver balls." and Cortez said, "No i was jacking off in the kitchen and i think i killed the dog!".

There was this family who lived in the country, and the father took his boy out shooting. When they came back later that day the father put his BB gun on the top of the stove and hurried to the bathroom.
He set it down so fast and hard that it opened and the BB's from the gun went right into mother's spagetti sauce. She had seen the BB's and just figured that they couldn't hurt anyone, so she just served dinner anyways.
Later that night the little girl ran down stairs saying, "mommy mommy I just peed BB's! Well did it hurt you said the mom. No said the girl. Ok then don;t worry it will go away.
Then the little boy runs down stairs, "mommy mommy I just peed BB's! Well did it hurt she says? No says the boy. Ok then don't worry about it, it will go away.
Later that night the father rushes down the stairs with his pants down - "honey, honey, I was just up stairs jacking off and I shot the dog!"