Perch Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy decides that he'd like to have a pet. While looking around in the pet shop, he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch but it doesn't have any feet or legs. "Geez, I wonder what happened to this poor parrot," the guy says out loud.
"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."
"Ha," the guy laughs, "It sounded like the parrot actually understood what I said and answered me."
"I understood every single word," the parrot says. "I'm a highly intelligent, very well educated bird."
"Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this: how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"This is a little embarrassing, but since you asked I'll tell you," the parrot whispers. "I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really more...

This guy is not getting along so well with his wife and thinks maybe he'd like to have a pet he can get along with. So, he goes to a pet shop in search of a friend. After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."
"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me."
"I understood every word," says the parrot. "I am a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this; how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked I'll tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You more...

A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating at all and he's lonesome so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help. The store he happened to walk into specialized in parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices one with no feet.
Surprised he mutters "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?"
The parrot says "With my prick, you dummy."
The guy is startled and says "You certainly talk well for a parrot."
The parrot says "Of course, I'm a very well educated parrot. I can discuss politics, sports, religion, most any subject you wish."
The guy says "Gee, you sound like just what I was looking for."
The parrot says "There's not much of a market for maimed parrots. If you offer the proprietor $20 for me I'll bet he'll sell me."
The guy buys the parrot and for three months things go great. When he comes home from work the parrot tells him Clinton said more...

A man is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little
Perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Golly, I
wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered
me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
intelligent, thoroughly educated bird. .."

"Oh yeah?" the man asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your
perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you
asked,
I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't
see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English more...

A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating at all and he's lonesome so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help. The store he happened into specialized in parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices one with no feet. Surprised he mutters "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?"
The parrot says "With my prick, you dummy."
The guy is startled and says "You certainly talk well for a parrot."
The parrot says "Of course, I'm a very well educated parrot. I can discuss politics, sports, religion, most any subject you wish." The guy says "Gee, you sound like just what I was looking for."
The parrot says "There's not much of a market for maimed parrots. If you offer the proprietor $20 for me I'll bet he'll sell me."
The guy buys the parrot and for three months things go great. When he comes home from work the parrot tells him Clinton said this, the Bulls won, more...