Perch Jokes / Recent Jokes

“Hey, bartender, ” says a customer, sitting at the bar. “What kind of bird is that sitting on the perch? ”
“Oh, ” says Bob the bartender, “that’s a Crunchy Bird! ”
“I never heard of a Crunchy Bird, ” says the patron.
“Just watch, ” says Bob. He takes a newspaper off the bar and throws it down on the floor, then he turns to the bird and says, “Crunchy Bird, my paper! ” The bird swoops down and attacks the newspaper. He rips it to shreds until there’s nothing left but tiny pieces of confetti.
“Wow, ” says the customer, “can I try? ”
“Be my guest, ” the bartender replies.
The customer takes off his shoe and puts it on the bar and says, “Crunchy Bird, my shoe! ” The bird flies down off the perch and picks the shoe up with his beak. He slams the shoe down on the bar and starts attacking it. In no time, the shoe is reduced to nothing but a few pieces of leather and a shoelace. Then the bird flies back to his perch more...

a farmer was awakend by horrible sound in the
late hours of the night. he went out to
investigate the noise, when he found his chickens running scared from the chicken house.
the farmer went in the house to find his bird in the hen house rapping the chickens. he grabbed the bird by the neck and took him into the house and threw him on his perch. he then told the
bird if he did it again he would tear every feather out of his body. the following night the same thing happend and the farmer did just what he had told his bird he would do.he plucked every feather off of his body and threw him on the perch again. he had warned the bird that night that he had better behave for the farmer was having a party that night and the only way for the bird to redeem himself was to help the farmer out by telling the compnay "coats the the right".
the party begin later that night and the farmer was keeping an on on the bird he seemd to be doing well when all of the suddenly more...

a farmer was awakend by horrible sound in the
late hours of the night. he went out to
investigate the noise, when he found his chickens running scared from the chicken house.
the farmer went in the house to find his bird in the hen house rapping the chickens. he grabbed the bird by the neck and took him into the house and threw him on his perch. he then told the
bird if he did it again he would tear every feather out of his body. the following night the same thing happend and the farmer did just what he had told his bird he would do.he plucked every feather off of his body and threw him on the perch again. he had warned the bird that night that he had better behave for the farmer was having a party that night and the only way for the bird toredeem himself was to help the farmer out by telling the compnay "coats the the right".
the party later that night and the farmer was keeping an on on the bird he seemd to be doing well when all of the suddenly a man more...

This guy walks into a petstore. For the past two weeks he has suspected his wife of cheating on him, so he decides to buy a parrot that can tell him what goes on at his housee during the day while he is at work.
'Well' says the petstore owner, 'I only got one bird that can do that, but he's got no legs. The guy looks at him and says, 'Well if he ain't got no legs, how's he balance himself on the perch.
'He's got a really long penis, so he wraps it around the perch.' The guy thinks it over and decides to buy the parrot. He takes it home and sure enough the bird wraps his penis around the perch for balance.
Everyday the man comes home and asks the parrot if his wife has been cheating on him. Everytime the same answer, 'Raawk, nothing doing, Raawk'. Well, one day he comes home and finds the parrot lying on the bottom of its birdcage. He picks it up and asks what has happened. 'Raawk, big happenings, Raawk, big happenings'. 'Well, what happened?' asks the man. The parrot more...