Perfume Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old woman is riding in an elevator, when a young, attractive woman, smelling of expensive perfume, gets into the elevator.
She turns to the old woman and arrogantly says, "Romance - Ralph Lauren, $125 an ounce!"
Then, another young, attractive woman, also smelling of expensive perfume, gets on the elevator. She turns to the old woman and arrogantly says, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"
Upon reaching her destination a couple of floors later, the old woman is preparing to exit the elevator. Before leaving, she looks both attractive women in the eye, turns, bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50. 00.
"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. 00.
"That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15. 00 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.

The clerk showed the man the store's most expensive perfume." This is called' Perhaps'," said the sales clerk. "It's $285 perounce." "Listen," the man shot back, "for $285 an ounce, I don't wantsomething called' Perhaps'; I want something called..."You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass You'll Get Some! !"

The little girl was SO proud of her Christmas presents: her first watch and her first perfume. She really made a pest of herself throughout the morning, going up to all the relatives and sticking that watch in their ear and insisting that they smell her perfume.

The preacher was coming for lunch, but before his arrival, the girl's mother had said, "If you mention that watch or that perfume just once more, I'm going to send you to your room for the rest of the day."

The meal went rather well, and the little girl held her tongue until just when the dessert was being served. She wanted to make sure that the preacher knew about her new watch and her perfume: "If you hear anything or smell anything. .. it's me!"

A lady walks into the mall. She smells her perfume, "ahh, $50 an ounce."She walks off. Another lady walks into the mall. She smells her perfume, "ahhh, $100 an ounce." The last lady walks into the mall and farts. "Ahhh, Broccli, 98 cents a pound."

Two blonde girls walk into a department store. They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Nancy sprays it on her wrist and smells it, "That's quite nice, don't you think, Kathy?" Kathy takes a sniff and replies, "That is nice. What's it called?"
"Viens a moi," replies Nancy.
"Viens a moi? What the heck does that mean?"
At this stage the store clerk offers some help., "Viens a moi, ladies, means' come to me' in French." Nancy takes another sniff, then offers her arm to Kathy again, and remarks, "That doesn't smell like cum to me. Does that smell like cum to you?"

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"