Philosophers Jokes

How many Kuhnian constructionist philosophers of science does it take to change a light bulb?
You're still thinking in terms of' incremental change'--what we really need is paradigm shift... we don't need a bulb with more attributes added on, we need ubiquitous luminescence.

Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hmmm... well there's an interesting question isn't it?

Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to stand around arguing over whether or not the lightbulb exists.

Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Define "lightbulb".

Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change it and one to think deeply and come up with a real gem, such as "Well there you are, standing on a chair, changing a lightbulb. Here we see the difference between a cat and a dog. If you have a cat, it looks up at you, thinks' What are you doing? ', and walks off. But if you have a dog, it's looking up at you and thinking' Well, I dunno what you're doing, but I love you anyway.'

Q: How many Mensans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The bulb isn't more...

A philosopher once had the following dream.First Aristotle appeared, and the philosopher said to him, "Could you give me a fifteen-minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?" To the philosopher's surprise, Aristotle gave him an excellent exposition in which he compressed an enormous amount of material into a mere fifteen minutes. But then the philosopher raised a certain objection which Aristotle couldn't answer. Confounded, Aristotle disappeared.Then Plato appeared. The same thing happened again, and the philosophers' objection to Plato was the same as his objection to Aristotle. Plato also couldn't answer it and disappeared.Then all the famous philosophers of history appeared one-by-one and our philosopher refuted every one with the same objection.After the last philosopher vanished, our philosopher said to himself, "I know I'm asleep and dreaming all this. Yet I've found a universal refutation for all philosophical systems! Tomorrow when I wake up, I will more...

Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Define "lightbulb".

Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to stand around arguing over whether or not the lightbulb exists.