Physicals Jokes

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were undergoing their physicals. During their physicals, the doctor was shocked to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.
"How do you account for this?" asked the doctor.
"It's hereditary, sir," the younger one replied.
"I see," replied the doctor. "So your father is the reason for your elongated penises?"
"No sir, our mother," the young man said.
"Your mother?" the doctor exclaimed. "You idiot, women don't have penises!"
"I realize that, sir," the recruit replied. "but, our mother only had one arm. When it came time to get us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."

Two buddies are on their way to the U.S. Army Induction center for physicals. Neither wants to go to war, so one says, "I hear that if you don't have any teeth they won't take you." They decide it's worth a try, so they stop at a Dentist and have all their teeth pulled.
When they arrive at the Induction Center there is a line waiting to get physicals. They decide it might look fishy if both stand in line, one after the other, so one guy heads for the back of the line. Just as he steps into line, a big 'ol farm boy hits the end of the line right in front of him, so the 2nd toothless guy lines up behind him.
The first toothless guy steps up and the doc asks, "Anything wrong with you?"
The Guy says, "Well, no, except I don't have any teeth."
The Doc says, "Open up and let me have a look." The Guy opens his mouth and the doctor runs his finger around his gums and says, "Sure enough, you stand over there." The line slowly more...