Physician Jokes / Recent Jokes

This fellow had been suffering from excruciating headaches for some time, and finally went to a doctor. After a thorough exam, the physician called the fellow into his office and said, "Well, I'm not exactly sure what is causing your headaches, but we've found a cure for them: you'll have to be castrated." The man, needless to say, was taken aback, and told his doctor that he believed he would try to bear the pain. But as time went on, the headaches only got worse, and finally, the poor fellow was driven back to the doctor." All right, I guess I'll have the operation," he said. When it was all over, the man was understandably depressed, and his physician told him, "I recommend you begin life anew. Start over from this point." So the man decided to take the advice and went to a men's shop for a new set of clothes. The proprietor said, "Starting with the suit, looks like you take about a 38-regular." "That's right," exclaimed the man, more...

A man goes to his physician and is shocked to find that he has been replaced by a super-computer. The computer asks him his ailments and the man says he has a sore elbow. A drawer pops out and he is asked to urinate in it. After a few bleeps and flashing lights the computer decides he has tennis elbow.
The man is annoyed and decides to get one over on this machine so he asks his wife for a urine sample. He then mixes this with urine from his dog and his small son and to top it off, adds some of his sperm. He takes it to the computer-physician who again asks him for a sample. He places the urine/sperm sample in the drawer and the computer makes its usual display of bleeps and flashes before telling him that his wife is pregnant, his dog has rabies, his son has chicken pox and if he doesn't stop masturbating he'll never get rid of his tennis elbow.

A beautiful but obviously overwrought young woman tearfully admitted to her doctor that after almost a year of marriage, her husband had not yet made love to her.
"No wonder you're nervous and upset,". said the astonished physician. "Bring your husband to my office tomorrow afternoon and I'll have a talk with him."
The following day, she returned with her husband.
"I dislike prying into your personal life, my good man," the doctor said, "But you're not fulfilling your marital obligations."
"What do you mean, doctor?" the naive husband replied. "I'm considerate, gentle, devoted and a good provider."
"But what about your sexual obligations?" the doctor demanded.
"I don't understand," the husband replied.
The doctor tried to explain, but the husband was too stupid to comprehend.
"All right," said the doctor at last, in exasperation, "then I'll show more...

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night.
The man then said, "Call for my lawyer." When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either side. I just thought I'd check out the same way."

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that his patient would survive the night. The man then said "Call for my lawyer." When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either side, and I thought I'd check out the same way."

This fellow had been suffering from excruciating headaches for some
time, and finally went to a doctor. After a thorough exam, the
physician called the fellow into his office and said, "Well, I'm not
exactly sure what is causing your headaches, but we've found a cure
for them: you'll have to be castrated." The man, needless to say, was
taken aback, and told his doctor that he believed he would try to bear
the pain.
But as time went on, the headaches only got worse, and finally, the
poor fellow was driven back to the doctor. "All right, I guess I'll
have the operation," he said. When it was all over, the man was
understandably depressed, and his physician told him, "I recommend you
begin life anew-start over from this point."
So the man decided to take the advice and went to a men's shop for a
new set of clothes. The proprietor said, "Starting with the suit,
looks like you take about a more...

This fellow had been suffering from excruciating headaches for some time, and finally went to a doctor. After a thorough exam, the physician called the fellow into his office and said, "Well, I'm not exactly sure what is causing your headaches, but we've found a cure for them: you'll have to be castrated."
The man, needless to say, was taken aback, and told his doctor that he believed he would try to bear the pain. But as time went on, the headaches only got worse, and finally, the poor fellow was driven back to the doctor.
"All right, I guess I'll have the operation," he said.
When it was all over, the man was understandably depressed, and his physician told him, "I recommend you begin life anew. Start over from this point."
So the man decided to take the advice and went to a men's shop for a new set of clothes. The proprietor said, "Starting with the suit, looks like you take about a 38-regular."
"That's right," more...