Physicist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A doctor, physicist, and politician were arj about whose profession was the oldest.
"Surely mine is oldest," boasted the doctoi "When Eve was created from Adam's rib, was a medical phenomenon."
"True," said the physicist, "but before tin order came from chaos. Only a physicist coul have done that."
"Excuse me," noted the politician, "but firs someone had to create the chaos.. .."

The renowned cosmogonist Professor Bignumska, lecturing on the future of the universe, had just stated that in about a billion years, according to her calculations, the earth would fall into the sun in a fiery death. In the back of the auditorium a tremulous voice piped up: "Excuse me, Professor, but h-h-how long did you say it would be?"
Professor Bignumska calmly replied, "About a billion years."
A sigh of relief was heard. "Whew! for a minute there, I thought you'd said million years."

How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?
He has a red sticker on his bumper, saying: "If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast."

The announcement of the Professor's new book on Astrophysics and his wife's new baby appeared simultaneously in the newspaper. Upon being congratulated on the' proud event in the family', the Professor naturally thought of the achievement that cost him the greater effort.
"Thank you," he replied modestly, "but I couldn't have done it without the help of my two graduate students."

What's the difference between an auto mechanic and a quantum mechanic?
The quantum mechanic can get the car inside the garage without opening the door.

Gravitation can not be held resposible for people falling in love.

Chemistry is physics without thought.
Mathematics is physics without purpose.