Pit Jokes

The Grand Prix was in full swing, the cars hurtling round the track at death-defying speeds.

The German driver pulled in and his pit crew had his car finished and out on the track again in eight seconds.

The Italian driver came in and his pit crew changed his tyres, refuelled the car and repaired his carby all in 11 seconds!

The Aussie car came in. They told him to bring it in on Thursday, leave the keys and they'd get back to him with a quote.

FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director

TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.

We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. Happy now?

FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources more...

St. Peter was checking the gate between Heaven and Hell and found a broken hinge. He walked over to the pit and called to the devil. The devil swaggers up out of the pit and says, "Yo man, whatta ya want." St. Peter: "The hinge is broken and it's your turn to fix it." The devil retorted, "Gee, I am a bit busy and don't have anyone to spare for the job right now." St. Peter got angry. "Look we have an agreement, and it's your turn to fix the gate." The Devil responded, "Sorry Pete, it's our peak season and there just isn't anyone available for this." St. Peter turned red and exclaimed, "Ok, if that's the way you want it, we'll sue." A big grin broke out on the devil's face. "Oh ya, and just where are you going to find a lawyer?"

What has four legs and one arm?
A happy pit bull.

Q: Whats the difference between Hillary Clinton and a pit bull? A: The pit bull doesnt carry a briefcase.