Pitbull Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?
A: Lipstick.

A man goes into a bar and sees a pile of cash on a table beneath a big sign that reads "$2,000 Cash Prize! See bartender for details." Keeping one eye on the stack of money, the man goes over and asks the bartender what he has to do to win the prize.
"You have to do three things and its all yours," the bartender says.
"Just three things?" the guy asks, rubbing his hands now and practically salivating at the thought of walking out of the bar $2,000 richer. "What are the three things?"
"Well," the bartender says, "first you have to go over to that 200-pound bouncer and knock him out. After that, I've got a mean-tempered pitbull in the backroom who needs a tooth pulled. Then you have to go and f**k the 80-year-old lady who lives upstairs."
"No problem," the guy says. He struts over to the bouncer and says, "Hey pal your shoelace is untied." When the bouncer looks down at his shoes, the man more...

A guy was stranded on a lonely island with only a pitbull and a pig for company. There was plenty of food and fresh water, so he was doing alright for a few months. But eventually the loneliness got to him, if you know what I mean.
The pig started to look more and more attractive - soft, pink skin, round buttocks, etc. But every time this poor guy tried to make an advance towards the pig, the pitbull growled at him. Once he almost got bit. The guy was getting very frustrated.
One day a life raft washed ashore. In it was a beautiful unconscious woman. The guy carried her back to his hut and nursed her back to health. After a few days the woman regained her strength and said: "Thank you, thank you so much for saving my life! I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything you want!" The guy thought for a moment and said, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"