Pole Jokes / Recent Jokes

The telephone lineman had been out drinking the night before and the next day he went to work not feeling to good. At the first pole that he had to work on, he climbed to the top and as he took his pliers out to repair the wire he dropped it. So, he had to climb all the way down to retrieve it.
As he got to the bottom of the pole and was picking up his pliers, a small boy was there.
He said to the lineman, "My daddy is a lineman to and he would have had two pair of pliers, so he wouldn't have to climb down the pole after the pliers that you dropped."
The lineman tried to ignore the boy and climbed back up the pole very slowly. About this time he needed a hammer to drive in a large nail, and as he was taking it out, it slipped and fell to the ground. Again he had to climb down the pole to retrieve it.
When he climbed down the pole, sure enough the little boy was there.
"My daddy is a lineman and he would have carried two hammers so if he had lost more...

Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner and looked for his wife, but she had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Joe was afraid he might spoil things by getting up, so he called his little boy and sent this note to his wife:
THE TENT POLE IS UP,
THE CANVAS IS SPREAD.
THE HELL WITH BREAKFAST,
COME BACK TO BED.
The wife answered the note and sent it back by the boy.
It read:
TAKE THE TENT POLE DOWN,
PUT THE CANVAS AWAY.
THE MONKEY HAD A HEMORRHAGE,
NO CIRCUS TODAY.
So he sent another note down. It read:
THE TENT POLE'S STILL UP,
AND THE CANVAS STILL SPREAD.
SO DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING,
ND COME GIVE ME SOME HEAD.
To which she replied:
I'M SURE THAT YOUR POLE'S
THE BEST IN THE LAND.
BUT I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW,
SO DO IT BY HAND!!

Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner and looked for his wife, but she had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Joe was afraid he might spoil things by getting up, so he called his little boy and sent this note to his wife:THE TENT POLE IS UP, THE CANVAS IS SPREAD.THE HELL WITH BREAKFAST, COME BACK TO BED.The wife answered the note and sent it back by the boy.It read:TAKE THE TENT POLE DOWN, PUT THE CANVAS AWAY.THE MONKEY HAD A HEMORRHAGE, NO CIRCUS TODAY.So he sent another note down. It read:THE TENT POLE'S STILL UP, AND THE CANVAS STILL SPREAD.SO DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, ND COME GIVE ME SOME HEAD.To which she replied:I'M SURE THAT YOUR POLE'STHE BEST IN THE LAND.BUT I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW, SO DO IT BY HAND!!

The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.
Streamlining is due to the North Pole's loss of dominance of the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share. He could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has received unfavorable press.
I am pleased to inform you that Rudolph's role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North more...

1) Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. 2) The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. 3) I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it. 4) I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. 5) A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. 6) A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. 7) I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the other way. 8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. 9) In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. 10) I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision. 11) I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. 12) I was on my way to more...

The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. "Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" inquired the officer. "Mister," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"

Miami, FL motorist Alvin Sims didn't notice that his truck had
smacked into a utility pole and his passenger was dead until the
police stopped his car.
Donna Richardson, 29, was hanging her head out of the window of her
boy friends 1993 Chevrolet truck early Saturday - she was vomiting -
when the truck suddenly veered. Her head slammed a pole and she died
instantly, police said Monday. Sims, 36. kept driving.
Metro-Dade police said when an officer stopped the truck several
miles later - its right mirror and antenna were damaged. Sims told
police that he was looking for a hospital because his passenger was
sick.
"Apparently, he thought he hit a puddle and did not see that he had
killed her."