Politically Jokes / Recent Jokes
Politically Correct Little Red Riding HoodThere once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who livedon the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants thatwould probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time tostudy them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred toas "mother", although she didn't mean to imply by this term that she would havethought less of the person if a close biological link did not in fact exist. Nor did she intend to denigrate the equal value of nontraditional households, although she was sorry if this was the impression conveyed. One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically grown fruit andmineral water to her grandmother's house." But mother, won't this be stealing work from the unionized people whohave struggled for years to earn the right to carry all packages betweenvarious people in the woods?" Red Riding Hood's mother assured her that she had more...
Q: How many politically correct people does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "Why should we impose our values on the lightbulb? If it wishes to be a lightbulb of no light, we should respect its uniqueness and individuality."
"POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS"
Dirty Old Man: Sexually focused chronologically gifted individual.
Perverted: Sexually dysfunctional.
Serial Killer: Person with difficult-to-meet needs.
Lazy: Motivationally deficient.
Fat: Horizontally challenged.
Fail: Achieve a deficiency.
Dishonest: Ethically disoriented.
Bald: Follicularly challenged.
Clumsy: Uniquely coordinated.
Body Odor: Nondiscretionary fragrance.
Alive: Temporarily metabolically abled.
Worst: Least best.
Wrong: Differently logical.
Ugly: Cosmetically different.
Unemployed: Involuntarily leisured.
Short: Vertically challenged.
Dead: Living impaired.
Vagrant: Nonspecifically destinationed individual.
Spendthrift: Negative saver.
Drunk: Chemically inconvenienced.
Pregnant: Parasitically oppressed.
Ignorant: Knowledge-based non-possessor.
New Official Politically Correct Terms for the 90'sOLD
NEWconservative-reactionarythe establishment-white power elitehearing person-temporarily aurally abledsighted person-temporarily visually abledblind-visually challengedmute-vocally challengeddeaf-aurally challengeddead-metabolically differentalive-temporarily metabolically abledugly-aesthetically challengedfat-gravitationally challengedheavy-set-people of massrude-politically correct psychopath-socially misalignedcrooked-ethically challengedklutzy-kinesthetically challengedbald-follicularly challengedshort-differently staturednon-white, non-male oppressed-white melanin impoverished / genetically oppressivewhite male-oppressorblack-african-americanasian-asian-americanafro-american-african-americanminority group-numerically challenged group; under-represented populationblack-person of colorChicano-person of colorweird green freak-person of colorfemale-person of genderdrooling drunk idiot-person on floorgroup of more...
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you more...