Pray Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only knowhow to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have somefun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why youare embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrotswhom I have taught to pray and read the Bible.Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them inthe cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrotsto praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop sayingthat...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the womanresponded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest'shouse. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots wereinside their cage, more...

Moskowitz had bought a parrot and one morning found the bird at the eastern side of the cage, with a small prayer shawl over its head, rocking to and fro, and mumbling. Bending low to listen, Moskowitz was thunderstruck to discover the parrot was intoning prayers in the finest Hebrew.
"You're Jewish?" asked Moskowitz.
"Not only Jewish," said the parrot, "but Orthodox. So will you take me to the synagog on Rosh Hashonah?"
Rosh Hashonah, the Jewish New Year, was indeed only 2 days away, and it would as always usher in the high-holiday season which would end with Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, ten days later. Moskowitz said "Of course I'll take you, but can I tell my friends about you? This isn't a secret is it?"
"No secret at all. Tell anyone you want to." And the parrot returned to his praying.
Moskowitz went to all his friends to tell them about his Jewish parrot. Of course no one believed him, and in no more...

One summer, a drought threatened the crop in a small town.
On a hot and dry Sunday, the village parson told his congregation, "There isn't anything that will save us except to pray for rain. Go home, pray, believe, and come back next Sunday ready to thank God for sending rain."
The people did as they were told and returned to church the following Sunday. But as soon as the parson saw them, he was furious...!
"We can't worship today. You do NOT yet believe," he said.
"But," they protested, "we prayed, and we do believe!"
"Believe???" he responded. "Then where are your umbrellas???"

A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but They only say "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some FUN?'" "That's terrible!", the priest exclaimed, "Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible, then my parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship." So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in and they say, "Hi, we are Prostitutes! Do you want to have some FUN?" One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and says, "PUT THE BIBLES AWAY! OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!!!"

Things to do at a Bowling Alley

Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.

When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.

Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.

Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.

Wear Golf Shoes.

Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.

Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.

Play bocci with extra lane balls

Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again

Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.

Bring full angling gear, ask how they're more...

Things to do at a Bowling Alley Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out. When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy. Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation. Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire. Wear Golf Shoes. Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices. Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling. Play bocci with extra lane balls Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened. Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting..... fish. Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off. more...

when your life is in the please pray to God ask him to...
Free you from darkness and if you pray and still your in darkness...
then please pay your Electricity Bill!!!