Pregnancy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. How long is the average woman in labor? A. Whatever she says, divided by two.
Q. My childbirth instructor says it`s not pain I`ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
Q. What does it mean when the baby`s head is crowning? A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.
Q. How does one sanitize nipples? A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.
Q. What are the terrible twos? A. Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.
Q. Do I have to have a baby shower? A. Not if you change the baby`s diaper very quickly.