Price Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two Pollacks went to a desert and bought a pick-up load of watermelon. They sold it for a cheap price and they were all sold within a couple of hours. When they looked at their profits, they didn't have any because they bought and sold for the same price! A moment after one of the two says,"I know, let us rent a bigger truck next time!."
A wise old farmer went to town to buy a new pickup truck that he saw advertised in the paper for a certain price.
After telling the salesman which truck he wanted, they set down to do the paperwork.
The salesman handed the farmer the bill, and the farmer declared This isn't the price I saw!".
The salesman went on to tell the old wise farmer how he was getting extras such as power steering, power brakes, power windows, special tires, etc. and that was what took the price up.
The farmer, needing the truck badly, paid the price and went home.
A few months later, the salesman called up the farmer and said, "My son is in 4-H and he needs a cow for a project. Do you have any for sale?"
The farmer replied, "Yes, I have a few cows I would sell for $500 apiece, Come and look at them and take your pick".
The salesman said he and his son would be right out.
After spending a few hours more...
The price of giving all the items bestowed by the "true love" of the song
"The Twelve Days of Christmas" may be a little beyond most people's
budget. The following costs were calculated for 1998, based upon a
report issued in 1995 by PNC Bank Corp., assuming an annual rate of
inflation of 2. 5 percent
1. Partridge in a pear tree $38
2. Turtle doves $54
3. French hens $16
4. Calling birds $302
5. Gold rings $485
6. Geese-a-laying $162
7. Swans-a-swimming $7, 538
8. Maids-a-milking $37
9. Pipers piping $2, 807
10. Ladies dancing $3, 245
11. Lords-a-leaping $1, 194
12. Drummers drumming $1, 293
Total to give gifts once $17, 170
Total to give as in song* $78, 986
* Singing the song in its entirety results in 364 presents. The partridge
is given 12 times, two doves 11 times (22 total), etc., etc., etc...
There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club. After a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole.
Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
(H - Husband, W - Wife)
H - "Hello? "
W - "Honey, it`s me. Are you at the club? "
H - "Yes."
W -"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It`s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
H -"What`s the price?"
W - "Only $1, 000."
H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
W -"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2005 models. I saw one I really liked. It`s a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price. And since we need to exchange more...
1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of the price. What is his profit? 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 1970 (new maths): A logger exchanges a set L of lumber for a set M of money. The cardinality of set M is 100, and each element is worth $1.00. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set M. The set C of the costs of production contains 20 fewer points than set M. Represent the set C as a subset of M, and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set P of profits? 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80, and his profit is $20. Your assignment: underline the number 20. 1990: (outcome-based education): By cutting down beautiful forest trees, a logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? (Topic for class participation: How did the forest more...
The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist. The Second Law of Economists: They’re both wrong. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today. - Laurence J. Peter A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. - Marty Allen I don’t think you can spend yourself rich. - George Humphrey If all economists were laid end to end they would not reach a conclusion. - George Bernard Shaw An economist is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Tariff - A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. Economists are people who are too smart for their own good and not smart enough for anyone else’s. Economy - Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford. An economist is someone who doesn’t know what more...