Professional Jokes / Recent Jokes

A professional wrestler went vacation in the depths of Louisiana and decided he wanted to get a pair
of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local
vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, he shouted,
"maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable
price!"
The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of your friends who
were in here earlier saying the same thing."
So the our friend headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men
standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be the other two professional wrestlers the
guy in town was talking about."
Just then, he saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of more...

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.
Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.
Bentley’s second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
Berta’s Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. “The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist. ”
Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it! ”
Q: How has French revolution affected world more...

A professional wrestler went to a flight school insisting he wanted to learn to fly that day. As all
the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct him on how to pilot the helicopter
solo by radio.
He took him out, showed him how to start it and gave him the basics, and sent him on him way.
After he climbed 1000 feet, he radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and
I'm starting to get the hang of this."
After 2000 feet, he radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched him
climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that he hadn't radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as he crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and
pulled him from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, he said: "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher,
I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off more...

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."
The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."
The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.
"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.
The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"
"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.
"Like what?" asked the bartender.
"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.
The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and more...

Did you hear about the lawyer on vacation whose sailboat capsized in dangerous, shark-infested waters? He surprised his traveling companions by volunteering to swim to the far-off shore for help. As he swam, his companions were startled by the appearance of two dorsal fins -- great white sharks, heading straight toward the lawyer. To their surprise, the sharks allowed the lawyer to take hold of their fins, and escorted him safely to shore.

When the lawyer returned with help, his companions asked him how he had managed such an incredible feat. The lawyer answered, "Professional courtesy."

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy.

An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.

Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.
An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.
Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!
Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."
Practice economy at ANY cost.