Professor Jokes / Recent Jokes

President Barack Obama, Cambridge Police Department Sgt. James Crowley and Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. walk into the White House bar. The bartender asks them what they'll have. Obama says, "I'll have a dialogue about race in America," Sgt. Crowley says, "I'll have an Irish coffee" and Professor Gates says, "I'll have a hissy fit."

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class.' In English,' he explained,' a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However,' the professor continued,' there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.' A voice from the back of the room piped up.' Yeah, right.'

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.

"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out.

"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.

A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"

The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school."

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

An esteemed professor of Mumbai University who had stayed with a family and wanted to thank his hostess for her hospitality said: Thank you very much for all your hostility.'
The same professor, giving a farewell talk to a batch of students going abroad, advised them:' Do in Rome as Romeos do.'
From Mumbai again comes this malapropism. A gentleman wiping the perspiration off his brow remarked:' In Mumbai it is prostitution and more prostitution'.

A bunch of girls had become upset at an anthropology
professor who had a knack of offending women. They decided
the next time he did something offensive they would all
stand up and walk out of his class. Sure enough, at the very
next class meeting while discussing a tribe of African
natives, the professor leered and said, "You'll be
interested to know the average tribal warrior there has a
cock twelve inches long."
The girls all rose in a large mass and headed for the door.
The professor sneered and said, "What's your hurry, girls? The next flight to there isn't until Saturday!"

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less
than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"