Pudding Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How does a blonde make instant pudding?A: She places the box in the microwave and looks for the "instant pudding setting" button.

You know, I'm not like'cool mom.' I'm a mother But, I’m a really, really good mother, and the proof is in the pudding."Also in the pudding were trace amounts of LSD, cocaine, and crystal meth. No amount of self esteem was found in the pudding.

Mother bought a huge turkey for Christmas dinner.
'That must have cost a fortune!' I said.
'Actually I got it for a poultry amount,' she said.
A man went to a butcher's and saw that the turkeys were 90p a pound. He said to the butcher,' Do you raise them yourself?'
'Of course I do,' the butcher replied.' They were only 50p a pound this morning!'
How do you tell the difference between tinned turkey and tinned custard?
Look at the labels!
Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It was looking forward to Christmas!
Who made this Christmas pudding?
Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool.
What did he use to make it?
Elf-raising flour, of course.
Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean.
That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!
I'd like Father Christmas stew.
Er... how do you make Father Christmas stew?
You keep him waiting half an hour!
Is that more...

What is Dracula's favorite pudding? Leeches and scream.

This is a REAL recipe for a rather tasty, but disgusting looking cake.



Ingredients:



1 18. 5-ounce package spice cake mix

1 18. 5-ounce package white cake mix

2 4-serving packages instant vanilla pudding mix

1 12-ounce box vanilla wafer cookies, crushed

6 to 10 Tootsie Rolls

Confectioner's sugar

1 brand-new kitty litter pan

1 brand-new plastic pooper scooper

Green food coloring

Plastic flies (optional)



Prepare the cakes and pudding according to package directions. Crumble the baked cake into the kitty litter pan, then add the pudding and mix. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of the cookie crumbs and set aside; mix the rest into the pan. Soften the Tootsie Rolls by placing in the micro- wave for 10 seconds on high and shape to resemble cat droppings. Arrange the Tootsie Rolls on top of the cookie-pudding more...

First soldier: "Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?"Second soldier: "No way, Jose!"First soldier: "Whyever not?"Second soldier: "It's against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!"

First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you? ”
Second soldier: “No way, Jose! ”
First soldier: “Whyever not? ”
Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert! ”