Pure Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Saturday morning, Glen decided to go fishing.
He sat there for hours, but nothing. The bottle whiskey that he've took with him, was also empty. He throw the empty bottle into pieces against a nearby rock.
All of a sudden, there was something on the hook. He pulled the fish out of the water. The only fish for the day so far. The fish was so small, Glen decided to throw it back.
The little fish was so exited, to such an extend, that it decided to give Glen one wish.
He asked the little fish for some more whiskey. The fish said, "Allright then, when you're urinating, it will be pure whiskey."
So Glen sat there, and wonder, can this really be? Glen took a glass and urinate in it. It was pure, pure whiskey.
A while later, a women, who was standing nearby, comes to him and asks, "sir are you allright? I saw you drinking your own piss.
"No", said Glen, "it's whiskey."
The women laughed. He urinate into the glass, and gave more...

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk they think you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The more...

A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.
"No thank you." she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."
"That must be rather difficult." the man replied.
"Oh, I don't mind too much." she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."

DEFINING SOCIETIES VIA THE OWNERSHIP OF 2 COWSFEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.DICTATORSHIP: You have two more...

DEFINING SOCIETIES VIA THE OWNERSHIP OF 2 COWS
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the more...