Queen Jokes / Recent Jokes
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent."I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen."Allow me to demonstrate."She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am.""Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?""Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Richard Lugar to the White House and says, "Senator Lugar, I wonder if you can more...
Camilla said to the queen every time i suck charles cock i get heartburn the queen replied have u tried Andrews?
While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, more...
How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his Whopper.
Three men were waiting outside a pub for it to open so they could have drink when a policeman came upto them and asked why they were waiting there. The men told him they were waiting for it to open and he told them that the new owners couldn't open it till they had thought of name and suggested they thought of a name for it and when they had they came back and told the new owners.
So the three men went away to think of a name for the pub and came back the next day with their suggestions. The first said to the owner, what about the Queen's head? but the owner said, no, too grown up, and the second one suggested the Queen's arms? but the owner didn't like that one either, so the third one said, well what about the queen's legs? And the owner like it, so he decided to name his pub the Queen's legs.
The next day, the same three men were waiting outside the pub for it to open and the same policeman came up to them and again asked them why they were waiting and one more...
The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St. Peter asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven.
She takes off her top and says,
"Look at these. They're the most perfect ones God ever created, and I'm proud to own them."
St. Peter thanks Dolly, and asks the Queen the same question.
She then drops her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it.
St. Peter says, "OK, Your Majesty, you may go in."
Dolly is outraged. She screams,
"What was that all about? I show you two of God's own creations, she performs a disgusting hygiene
act, and gets in, and I don't?!!!"
"Sorry, Dolly," says St. Peter,
"But a royal flush beats a pair any day."