Question Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.
On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer.
The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer. Frustrated, little Johnny decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.
So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them black. The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, "Here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the more...

How to Argue and Win Every Time
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an
argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:
*Drink liquor.
Suppose you are at a party and some hotshot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hotshot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large martinis, you'll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.
*Make things up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to more...

Malik returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his
father. Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Pakistani?
No son, that`s because you are intelligent. Malik seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this
because I am Pakistani? No son, that`s because you are intelligent, replies his father. Happy with the answer, Malik poses another question to his father, Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Pakistani? The father replies, No son, that`s because you are 31 years old.

A man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman.
"No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of GOLD!"
She said she didn't believe him, so she called the bar.
"Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question; are your urinals covered in gold?"
To which she heard the bartender say, "Hey, Clarence, - I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone!"

At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period."Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out.""What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt."Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?""Right.""An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?""Er--right.""An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?""Again you're right.""An' the Children of Israel fought the' gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?""All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?" "What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin"?

Albert Einstein was getting bored with making the same speech over and over again at different meetings.
So one night, after a long day, his chauffeur jokingly said
"I've heard your speech so many times, I know it word for word! Why don't you take the night off and let me deliver the talk this evening?"
Einstein agreed.
When they arrived at the venue, Einstein put on the chauffers uniform and hat, and sat at the back of the hall.
The chauffeur took his place on the podium, and effortlessly delivered the speech, and invited the audience to ask questions.
He convincingly answered the first few, but then one pompous man stood up and asked a very difficult question on his theories of relativity.
The chauffeur was flummoxed, but calmly said
"Why, that question is so very easy, I will let my chauffeur answer it!"

A blonde woman was seated next to a man on a flight & wanted to take a nap. The man asked her if she'd play a game. She said no. "It'll be fun," he said. "No thanks," the blonde replied. The man then said "Let me tell u the rules. I'll ask u a question, & if u get it wrong, pay me $5, & vice-versa." Again, the woman said no. The man grew angry. "Okay, I'll ask u a question, & if u get it wrong, pay me $5. But if u ask ME a question & I get it wrong, I'll pay u $500." The annoyed woman finally gave in. He went first. "What’s the earth’s diameter?" The blonde reached into her wallet & gave him $5. Then the blonde asked him "What goes up a hill with 2 legs & comes down with 3?" Perplexed, the man pulled out his laptop & began searching the web. After an hour of him researching & making calls, the woman had dozed off. The man woke her & gave her $500. She thanked him & then went on napping. Frustrated, he asked more...