Radiation Jokes / Recent Jokes

The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is Isaiah 30: 26, "Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days." Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we do from the Sun, and in addition 7*7 (49) times as much as the Earth does from the Sun, or 50 times in all. The light we receive from the Moon is one 1/10, 000 of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that.... The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation, i. e., Heaven loses 50 times as much heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E) temperature of the earth (-300K), gives H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed.... [However] Revelations 21: 8 says "But the fearful, and unbelieving... shall have their part in more...

A truck driver who had been delivering radioactive waste for the local reactor begins to feel sick after a few years on the job. He decided to seek compensation for his ailment.

Upon his arrival at the workers' compensation department, he is interviewed by an assessor.

Assessor: I see you work with radio-active materials and wish to claim compensation.

Trucker: Yeah, I feel really sick.

Assessor: Alright then, Does your employer take measures to protect you from radiation poisoning?

Trucker: Yeah, he gives me a lead suit to wear on the job.

Assessor: And what about the cabin in which you drive?

Trucker: Oh yeah. That's lead lined, all lead lined.

Assessor: What about the waste itself? Where is that kept?

Trucker: Oh, the stuff is held in a lead container, all lead.

Assessor: Let me see if I get this straight. You wear a lead suit, sit in a lead-lined cabin and the radio-active more...

W H I T M A N, Mass.? Be careful what you do with your radioactive cat poop.

William Jenness agreed to pay a $3, 856. 47 fee for mishandling his cat Mitzi's litter box.

Jenness took Mitzi, 11, to a local clinic to treat her hyperthyroidism. The treatment involved giving the feline an injection of radioactive iodine, and Jenness was given strict instructions to flush his pet's waste down the toilet, rather than throw it out.

Cats who undergo the procedure are themselves radioactive for several days, as is their waste product. After a few days, radiation levels return to normal.

Jenness didn't follow the instructions.

"I was afraid of my septic system being clogged," he told The Patriot Ledger. "When it hardened it came into fairly big lumps. I probably should've put more effort into breaking it up."

When Jenness' garbage made it's way to the SEMASS waste incinerator in Rochester, it set off an alarm more...

A man goes to the doctor and he finds out that he is very ill and only has a few weeks to live. He can't believe it and starts asking the doctor, "What can I do?"
The Doctor says that unfortunatley it is too late and he should concentrate on getting his affairs in order.
"There must be something!" the man says. "What about radiation, Chemotherapy....I'm a tough guy!"
The doctor again says that there is nothing they can do for him and he should concentrate on the time he has left.
The man, however, is beside himself and will not give up. "Doc, please. What about experimantal treatments? I'm not leaving until you give me something!"
At this point the doctor finally says, "OK, if I were you I'd take my wife up to the wine country and go to one of those spas they have, for a mud bath."
Now the guy really can't believe it. "A mud bath?" he says. "If radiation won't work, chemo won't work, what is more...

A man goes to the doctor and he finds out that he is very ill and only has a few weeks to live. He can't believe it and starts asking the doctor, "What can I do?"
The Doctor says that unfortunatley it is too late and he should concentrate on getting his affairs in order.
"There must be something!" the man says. "What about radiation, Chemotherapy....I'm a tough guy!"
The doctor again says that there is nothing they can do for him and he should concentrate on the time he has left.
The man, however, is beside himself and will not give up. "Doc, please. What about experimantal treatments? I'm not leaving until you give me something!"
At this point the doctor finally says, "OK, if I were you I'd take my wife up to the wine country and go to one of those spas they have, for a mud bath."
Now the guy really can't believe it. "A mud bath?" he says. "If radiation won't work, chemo won't work, what is a mud more...