Radioactive Jokes

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

A truck driver who had been delivering radioactive waste for the local reactor begins to feel sick after a few years on the job. He decided to seek compensation for his ailment. Upon his arrival at the workers' compensation department, he is interviewed by an assessor.Assessor: I see you work with radio-active materials and wish to claim compensation. Trucker: Yeah, I feel really sick. Assessor: Alright then, Does your employer take measures to protect you from radiation poisoning? Trucker: Yeah, he gives me a lead suit to wear on the job. Assessor: And what about the cabin in which you drive? Trucker: Oh yeah. That's lead lined, all lead lined. Assessor: What about the waste itself? Where is that kept? Trucker: Oh, the stuff is held in a lead container, all lead. Assessor: Let me see if I get this straight. You wear a lead suit, sit in a lead-lined cabin and the radio-active waste is kept in a lead container. Trucker: Yeah, that? s right. All lead. Assessor: Then I can't see how you more...

One day, a reporter for a suburban newspaper happened upon a construction site with a sign that ominously warned: "DANGER. RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS."
Driven by the prospect of a hard-hitting expose, he made a quick call to his editor, then returned to the scene to investigate. The construction supervisor looked unhappy to see him; "I'll tell you the truth," he said, "but I'm going to ask you not to publish what I say."
"This is just like the movies," he thought.
The supervisor continued, "There's nothing radioactive on this site. That sign has been the only way to keep our lumber from being stolen."

W H I T M A N, Mass.? Be careful what you do with your radioactive cat poop.

William Jenness agreed to pay a $3, 856. 47 fee for mishandling his cat Mitzi's litter box.

Jenness took Mitzi, 11, to a local clinic to treat her hyperthyroidism. The treatment involved giving the feline an injection of radioactive iodine, and Jenness was given strict instructions to flush his pet's waste down the toilet, rather than throw it out.

Cats who undergo the procedure are themselves radioactive for several days, as is their waste product. After a few days, radiation levels return to normal.

Jenness didn't follow the instructions.

"I was afraid of my septic system being clogged," he told The Patriot Ledger. "When it hardened it came into fairly big lumps. I probably should've put more effort into breaking it up."

When Jenness' garbage made it's way to the SEMASS waste incinerator in Rochester, it set off an alarm more...