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A college student wrote a letter home to his parents which read:
"Dear Mom and Dad,
I feel so miserable because I have to keep writing home to ask you for money. It makes me feel so ashamed and unhappy, but I must ask for another hundred dollars. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.
Your son, Rick
P.S. I felt so awful that I ran after the mailman who picked this letter up in the box at the corner. I really wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed to God that I could get it back, but it was too late."
A few days later, the student received a letter from his father which read:
"Dear Son,
Your prayers were answered. Your letter never arrived!
Dad"

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked more...

1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."
2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.
3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick."
4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.
5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.
6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el papa), the more...

The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer Company's production line.
When the guided tour arrived, a salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. "This baby here," he said, "is the Ultimate Computer. Ask it any question you wish and it will give you an intelligent answer."
A smartass stepped forward and asked the computer, "Where is my father?"
Suddenly, the electronic gears went to work. Lights flashed, wheels buzzed and within seconds, a small card popped out. The card read, "Fishing Off Florida."
"Ha!" laughed the smartass. "Actually, my father is dead! That was a trick question."
The quick thinking salesman immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as the Ultimate Computer was precise, perhaps he might like to try rephrasing his question and try again.
"Ok," the smartass said, "where is my mother's husband?"
Again more...

This is from an actual trial in the UK
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.
The case came before the court and the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was:
When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments remove swelling".
I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William's Stick Did The Trick".
Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this more...

Knowing that Bill was in the hospital near death, the family called the priest to be with them. As the priest stood next to the bed, Bill's condition started to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for a piece of paper to write on. The priest handed him pen and paper and using his last bit of energy, Bill scribbled his message and died.
Thinking it best not to read the note at that time, the priest tucked it into his jacket pocket.
As he was finishing the service at Bill's funeral, the priest realized he was wearng the same jacket as when Bill died. He said, "Bill handed me this note just before he died. I haven't looked at it but knowing Bill, I'm sure it's a wonderful message."
With that, he opened the note and read "Get off my oxygen tube!"

A nun was sitting at a window in her convent one day... when she was handed a letter from home. Upon opening it a $10 bill dropped out. She was most pleased at receiving the gift from her home folks, but as she read the letter her attention was distracted by the actions of a shabbily dressed stranger who was leaning against a post in front of the convent.

She couldn't get him off her mind and, thinking that he might be in financial difficulties, she took the $10 bill and wrapped it in a piece of paper, on which she had written,' Don't despair, Sister Eulalia,' and threw it out of the window to him. He picked it up, read it, looked at her with a puzzled expression, tipped his hat and went off down the street.

The next day she was in her cell saying her beads when she was told that some man was at her door who insisted on seeing her.

She went down and found the shabbily dressed stranger waiting for her. Without saying a word he handed her a roll of more...