Rear Jokes / Recent Jokes
A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed. So the man says to his wife "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill" She ignores the remark.
A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and measures the grill, then he goes over to his wife while she is bending over, measures her rear end and gasps, "Geez, it really IS as wide as the grill!" She ignores this remark as well.
Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."
An Ann Arbor area mortician had a new apprentice who was learning the embalming ropes. He walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Thinking he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his boss, he began examining the body. He rolled it over and to his amazement there was a cork in its rear end. Mystified, he pulled it out, and immediately heard, the Michigan Wolverine fight song come out the guys butt.
Startled by what had happened, he shoved the cork back into the cadaver and ran up the stairs to find his mentor. "Sir, you've got to come down and help me, I've just seen something I can't believe."
Annoyed by the naivete of his assistant, he said OK and followed him downstairs. "There, look at the cork in the rear end of that body, I couldn't imagine what it was doing there so I pulled it out. Please you do it."
The mortician was a bit surprised to see the cork, too, so he walked to the table and removed the cork. more...
There once was a service man who toured the Middle East and married a beautiful little China doll.He brought her back to the States and they were very happy.He always enjoyed looking at her rear end and telling her what a beautiful butt she had. Every day it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have." Every night it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have."Well his birthday was getting close and she wanted to surprise him with a tattoo on her rear end that said, "Beautiful Butt."So she finds a reputable tattoo artist and explains what she wants. Well the artist asks her to turn around and after a brief pause says, "There is no way I can get "Beautiful Butt" on your tiny little beautiful butt." But I can put a nice "B" on each cheek which will stand for "Beautiful Butt."A bit disappointed, she agrees and leaves with her B's. Well the big day arrives and after a candle light more...
A hip young man goes out and buys a 1997 Ferrari GTO. It is the best and most expensive car available in the world, costing about $500,000.
He takes it out for a spin and while stopping for a red light, an old man on a moped pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young man replies, "A 1997 Ferrari GTO. They cost about a half million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.
The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?"
"Sure," replies the owner.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"
Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show the more...
A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Bugatti Veyron 16.4. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it sets him back $1.24M. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"The young man replies "A 2005 Bugatti Veyron 16.4. It cost $1.24M."That's a lot of money" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside? "Sure," replies the owner.So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"Just then, the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old more...
There once was a service man who toured the Middle East and married a beautiful little China doll. He brought her back to the States and they were very happy. He always enjoyed looking at her rear end and telling her what a beautiful butt she had. Every day it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have." Every night it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have." Well his birthday was getting close and she wanted to surprise him with a tattoo on her rear end that said, "Beautiful Butt." So she finds a reputable tattoo artist and explains what she wants. Well the artist asks her to turn around and after a brief pause says, "There is no way I can get "Beautiful Butt" on your tiny little beautiful butt." But I can put a nice "B" on each cheek which will stand for "Beautiful Butt." A bit disappointed, she agrees and leaves with her B's. Well the big day arrives and after a candle light more...