Receptionist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?" The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"

A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
Once again the receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week."
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
"Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time I've had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"

A guy phones a law office and says: "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry but he died last week."
The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week."
The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, "I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy says, "Because I just love hearing it."

A blonde and a brunette are walking along the sidewalk, and the brunette says she is dying of thirst and wants Dr. Pepper. The blonde runs across town into the nearest hospital and asks the receptionist for Dr. Pepper. The receptionist says OK, and hands her a bottle of soda. The blonde says, "What do you think this is? A Joke? My friend is dying and needs to see Dr. Pepper right away!!!"

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked,' 'Yes sir, may we help you?''' 'There's something wrong with my dick,'' he replied. The receptionist became aggravated and said,' 'You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that.''' 'Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you.'' he said.' 'We do not use language like that here,'' she said.' 'Please go outside and come back in and say that there's something wrong with your' ear' or whatever.''

The man walked out, waited several minutes and reentered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked,' 'Yes?''' 'There's something wrong with my' ear','' he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly.' 'And what is wrong with your ear, sir?''

''I can't piss out of it.'' the man replied.

An elderly gentleman is walking down the road, and notices a nudist resort has opened recently. He ponders for a bit and thinks, "What the heck, I am old now, I have nothing to hide. I think I'll go check it out." He walks into the reception area where he is greeted by a beautiful blonde woman who is stark naked. He thinks to himself that this place has some definite posibilities.
Receptionist, "May I help you?"
Old man, "Yes, you can. I am thinking of joining. Is there any way I can go in and have a look around?"
Receptionist, "Sure you can. We allow potential nudists to go in for 2 hours and see if it is the life for them, but you have to leave your clothes here."
"Great," says the old man, and hands over his clothes and enters the resort.
He walks around for a few moments, puffing on a cigar, and realizes he is getting tired of walking and also notices he is aroused for the first time in a long time. Spotting a more...

A guy walks into the Microsoft Shop.
Guy: I'd like a cheesecake, please.
Receptionist: Sure.
The receptionist hands him a block of cheese.
Guy: Umm... This is just the cheese. Where's the cake?
Rec: You have to purchase that seperately.
Guy: What the -? What kind of product are you trying to sell me? Oh well.
Rec: Good. I knew you'd understand.
The Rec hands him the cake.
Guy: So... What do I do with the cheese and the cake?
Rec: You blend it.
Guy: With what?
The Rec hands him a blender.
The guy puts the cheese and the cake into the blender and blends it.
Guy: Now I have a bunch of liquid. What do I do with it?
Rec: Oh - you retard, you're supposed to exchange the cake for the batter first.
Guy: For the sake of Pete, what the -? Fine. Let's start over. So I get the cheese and I get the cake. Then I exchange the cake for the batter, right?
Rec: Yep.
The guy blends it.
Guy: Right... I'm still stuck with a load more...