Rented Jokes / Recent Jokes

One evening after the theatre, two men were walking down Broadway when they
saw a well-dressed and attractive woman walking just ahead of them. One man
turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $50 to sleep with that woman."
To their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark and, turning
around, said, "I'll take you up on that." She looked neat and sounded
educated so, bidding his companion goodnight, the lucky man accompanied the
young lady to her flat, where they immediately went to bed.
Next morning the man presented her with $25 and prepared to leave. But she
demanded the rest of the money and threatened, "If you don't give it to me,
I'll sue."
The man only laughed, saying, "I'd like to see you get it on those
grounds."
He was surprised to receive a summons the next day, ordering his presence in
court as a defendant in a lawsuit. When he told his lawer the details more...

Joe and John were identical twins.
Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself.
One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it.
He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.
Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in his absence.
When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery.
A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her."
"She was a rotten old thing from the beginning."
"Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish."
"She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in more...

Two Iraqis went to the desert for a vacation. They rented a camel and headed out. Five days later they came back but without the camel.
The man who had rented them the camel was very upset and screamed, "Where is my camel?"
The Iraqis replied, "Well, we were riding along when we kept hearing people say, 'Look at the two assholes on that camel!' So finally we got off to take a look and the damn camel ran away!

A young businessman rented a beautiful office and furnished it with antiques. However, no business was coming in. Sitting there, worrying, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wanting to look busy, he picked up the phone and pretended he was negotiating a big deal. He spoke loudly about big figures and huge commitments. Finally, he put down the phone and asked the visitor "Can I help you?" The man said, "I've come to install the phone."

here were these 3 Riverside City Firemen who always went bird hunting together and they always rented a hunting dog name Rex from a local farmer. Rex was a great dog and would always hold point and find any birds they shoot. One year they did't go hunting and the farmer rented Rex out to some Corona City Firemen who used him that season. The next year the Riverside guys went to rent Rex from the farmer for hunting but the farmer had bad news for them. He told them Rex was no longer any good for hunting and didn't have a replacement for him and to tell the Corona firemen they were not welcome there any more and that if he saw them he would probably shoot them for what they did to Rex. The R.F.D. guys asked the farmer what the Corona boys did that could be so bad. Well the farmer said last year when they rented Rex it all started off fine until one of the Corona guys decided to rename him. We ll whats wrong with that they asked. The farmer said they renamed him CHIEF and now all he does more...