Rest Jokes / Recent Jokes

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Mathmatician - 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, the rest follows by induction.
Statistician - 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is expermental error so throw it out, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, the rest follows by induction.
Computer Scientist - 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime,....

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.
The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."
All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't do anything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."
So more...

We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get
along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free
liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one
more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the
terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional, and other liberal, commie, pinko
bedwetters.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole lot of people were
confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No
Rights.
You do not have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV or any other
form of wealth.
More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing
anything.
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on
freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just more...

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't do anything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."So the rectum closed up.After a few days, the more...

One day the different parts of the body were having anargument to see which should be in charge.The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the mostimportant and I should be in charge."The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of youknow where we are, so I'm the most important and Ishould be in charge."The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pickanything up or move anything. So I'm the most importantand I should be in charge."The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy forthe rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the mostimportant and I should be in charge."The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to moveanywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be incharge."Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't doanything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."So the rectum closed up. After a few days, the legs were more...

A good Irishman, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting the Guinness Stout and having a contest as to who could make the best toast.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, Between the legs of me loving wife!" That won him top prize for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife, Mary, he won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, and what was your toast?"
John replied, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife!"
Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "Did you know that John won the prize the other night with a toast about you, Mary?"
She said, "Aye, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice! Once more...

Here is a collection of freshman history bloopers collected by a Canadian history professor (Anders Henrickson) over the years.
After the refirmation were wars both foreign and infernal. If the Spanish could gain the Netherlands they would have a stronghold throughout northern Europe which would include their posetions in Italy, Burgundy, central Europe and India thus serrounding France. The German Emperor's lower passage was blocked by the French for years and years.
Louise XIV became King of the Sun. He gave the people food and artillery. If he didn't like someone, he sent them to the gallows to row for the rest of their lives. Vauban was the royal minister of flirtation. In Russia the 17th century was known as the time of the bounding of the serfs. Russian nobles wore clothes only to humour Peter the Great. Peter filled his goverment with accidental people and built a new capital near the European boarder. Orthodox priests became government antennae.
The enlightenment more...