Return Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together.
As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages.
Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love. Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back.
So, what she did is this: she took a Polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's cock and sent it to her old more...

At a recent Sacramento PC User's Group meeting, a company was demonstrating its latest speech-recognition software. A representative from the company was just about ready to start the demonstration and asked everyone in the room to quiet down. 0 Just then someone in the back of the room yelled, "Format C: Return." Someone else chimed in, "Yes, Return." Unfortunately, the software worked.

Top Ten Changes at NASA to Accommodate 76-Year-Old John Glenn's Return to Space Aboard the Shuttle Discovery:
All important devices now operated by the Clapper.
Shuttle's thermostat set at 80 degrees.
Shuffle board installed in cargo bay.
"Early Bird" specials from Morrison's Cafeteria included on menu.
One monitor specifically designated for Matlock.
Little bowls of candy scattered randomly about the ship.
Top speed of shuttle set at 25 miles per hour.
Installed a new bifocal windshield.
Space pants now go up to armpits.
Left-blinker left on for entire mission.

Cinderella REALLY wanted to go to Prince Charming's ball, but as you know the evil stepsisiers and stepmother will not let her. So they leave her all alone on the big night, cleaning the place.
"Oh, how I wish I could go!" Cinderella sighed.
No sooner had she said this than her Fairy Godmother appeared, holding a long, beautiful white dress.
"Here, god-child," the fairy said, "try this on."
So Cinderella puts the thing on, and it fits perfectly, except she notices some red drops on the white fabric. "Dammit" Cinderella said" of all the lousy nights to get my period!"
So the God mother presents her with a magic Tampon to solve the problem, but the tampon has a warning on it: "Please return to the house by midnight or the tampon will be turned into a pumpkin."
Cinderella puts it in her and goes to the Ball.
Meanwhile, the Fairy Godmother awaits Cinderella's return. 10 o'clock -11 o'clock -12 more...

Cinderella REALLY wanted to go to Prince Charming's ball, but as you know the evil stepsisiers and stepmother will not let her. So they leave her all alone on the big night, cleaning the place."Oh, how I wish I could go!" Cinderella sighed.No sooner had she said this than her Fairy Godmother appeared, holding a long, beautiful white dress."Here, god-child," the fairy said, "try this on."So Cinderella puts the thing on, and it fits perfectly, except she notices some red drops on the white fabric. "Dammit" Cinderella said" of all the lousy nights to get my period!"So the God mother presents her with a magic Tampon to solve the problem, but the tampon has a warning on it: "Please return to the house by midnight or the tampon will be turned into a pumpkin."Cinderella puts it in her and goes to the Ball.Meanwhile, the Fairy Godmother awaits Cinderella's return. 10 o'clock -11 o'clock -12 o'clock-1 o'clockFinally, at around 3 in more...

At a recent Sacramento PC User's Group meeting, a company was demonstrating
its latest speech-recognition software.
A representative from the company was just about ready to start the
demonstration and asked everyone in the room to quiet down.
Just then someone in the back of the room yelled,
"Format C: Return."
Someone else chimed in:
"Yes, Return"
Unfortunately, the software worked.

I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn`t have received anything at all.

Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged Rs 300/- for the first ten words and Rs 100/- for each additional word in your message.

The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. ( I love this.. The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many more...