Ride Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dave walks into a bar and sees John sittin at the end of the bar counterwith a great big smile on his face Dave says "John what are you so happy for?"
"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?" "I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave, she couldn't swim!!."
The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face. Dave says "What are you so happy about today John?"
"Well Dave... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blonde came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' "Sure more...

'Twas da night befo' Christmas and all in the hood, Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good.
The tube socks was hung on the window sill and we all had smiles up on our grill.
Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib in the back bedroom, cuz that's how we live.
And Moms in her do-rag and me with my nine, had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine.
All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by, Bumpin' phat beats cuz the system's fly.
I bounced to the window at a quarter pas' 'Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's ass!
well anyway...
I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this! She said, Stop frontin' & just mind yo' bidness.
I said, for real doe, come check dis out.
We weren't even buggin', no worries, no doubt. Cuz bumpin' an thumpin' from around da way
Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh.
Da beats was kickin', da ride was phat I said, "Yo red Dawg, you all that!"
He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz, "Ay yo, give it up, let's make more...

Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee!!!!!

One day, a fellow went for a ride through the park on his bicycle.The following day, a friend asked him if he would like to do it again.He replied, "No thanks, I'm not into recycling."

A young city gal from Chicago was driving through a remote part of Wyoming when her car broke down.
Fortunately, an Indian came riding by on horseback and offered to give her a lift to a nearby town. She gratefully accepted, climbed up behind him on the horse and off they rode.
The ride into town was uneventful except for the loud whoop the Indian would let out every few minutes, which echoed back from the surrounding hills.
When they finally arrived in the town, the Indian let her off at the local general store, yelled out one final "Yahoo!" and rode off.
"What on earth did you do to get that Indian so excited?" the general store clerk asked.
"I didn't do anything," replied the young woman. "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the clerk said, "Indians ride bareback!"

One fine morning a sardar goes for a ride in his car. He is enjoying his
ride when suddenly he sees another sardarji in the middle of a field
rowing a boat.
Puzzled he stops the car and standing at the edge of the road screams,
"what are you doing rowing a boat in a field?".
The sardarji answers "it is an ocean of wheat and i am rowing a boat in
the ocean."
The sardar angrily says "it is because of sardars like you we have a bad
name. If only i knew to swim i would have come there and beaten you up".

There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take in their beauty. She noticed the farmer just standing there watching too. She walked up to him asked some questions on raising sheep. She then asked, "If I can guess how many sheep are in your flock, can I have one"? The farmer agreed. She guessed, 387. The farmer said that was correct. So, go take your pick on which one you want. She went into the flock and then to her car. The farmer stopped her, and asked, "If I can guess what your natural hair color is, can I have my DOG back"?