Riding Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jack and Jill were riding a tandem up a hill, but making heavy weather of it. At the top, Jack said: I didnt think wed make it! Jill replied, Nor did I - what a good thing I kept the brakes on, or wed have slid all the way back down!

A man and woman are riding up in an elevator. The man looks at the woman and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"She replies, "Hell no!"The man says, "Well, it must be your feet then."

This Cowboy is riding the range when he gets ambushed by some indians. They take him back to their villiage to see the chief. The Chief looks at the cowboy and says:
"You White man, you will die at sundown, but Chief is not as evil as white man, so you gettum three wishes.
" What is your first wish?, The cowboy looks around, thinks, then, with a gulp, say: "well, can i talk to my horse o' great chief?
"The Chief looks puzzled, laughs to his tribe and says "he-he, sure white man you can talk to your horse".
So the cowboy goes to his horse and wispers in it's ear, the horse looks puzzled, but then with bright eyes it gallops off in a cloud of dust. The Indians just sit and laugh at the cowboy for wasting his wish. BUT, all of a sudden the horse returns with a Blonde riding upon its back. The indians look amazed. The chief grins, points to a secluded Teepee. The cowboy now looks embarrassed, so he takes the blonde and goes into the teepee. An more...

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold."
The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up."
So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said, "My hands are freezing cold."
The daughter replied, "Put them between my legs, they'll warm up."
So he did, and his hands warmed up. The next day, the boyfriend was again driving in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is freezing cold."
The daughter replied, "Put it between my legs. It will warm up."
He did, and his nose warmed up. The next day, the boyfriend was once again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid."
The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with more...

You must be a redneck if you are riding your riding lawnmower...
And pulling your pushmower at the same time to get your yard mowed.

Jessica Simpson came close to death today while horseback riding. She was enjoying a leisurely ride, when the horse started bouncing out of control. Her agent said Jessica attempted to hold on, but failed, and fell off the side of the horse. Her foot got caught in the stirrup as she fell. The horse didn’t stop, and her head was on the ground. Jessica started screaming for help "Make him stop! Make him stop! Please somebody!" Fortunately, a Wal-mart greeter heard her, and unplugged it.

There once was a blonde riding a horse. It was going very fast. All of a sudden she started to fall off! she tried to grab the mane, reins, saddle, tail, and body. It did not work. She yelled for help. Finally the Wal-Mart manager came over and unplugged it!