Riding Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old pen buggy one cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up." So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said, "My hands are freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put them between my legs, they'll warm up." The next day, the boyfriend was again driving in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is freezing cold." The daughter replied, "Put it between my legs. It will warm up." He did, and his nose warmed up. The next day, the boyfriend was once again driving with the daughter and he said, "My penis is frozen solid." The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of more...

1. Bicycles don't pregnant.2. You can ride your bicycle any time of the month.3. Bicycles don't have parents.4. Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.5. You can share your bicycles with your friends.6. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you've ridden.7. When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time.8. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you have now.9. Bicycles don't care if you look at other bicycles.10. Bicycles don't care if you buy bicycle magazines.11. You'll never hear, "Suprise, you're goning to own a new bicycle" unless you go out and buy one yourself.12. If your bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.13. If your bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.14. If your bicycle gets misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.15. You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your parents.16. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your bicycle.17. If you say bad things to your bicycle, you don't have more...

Two guys were riding in a car, arguing about how to say the name of the city that they were in. One said "Louieville" and the other "Louiseville."

They went on arguing and arguing, until they came upon a fast-food restaurant.
The one guy goes inside and says to the waitress, "Tell me the name of the place where I am right now really, really, really slowly."
The waitress goes, "Bur-ger-King."

Two nuns are riding a bike down a road and the firstnun says, "I've never come this way before!" and thesecond nun says, "Oh, it must be the cobblestone!"

A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse more...

One day there was a old farmer and his wife and they owned a horse and a carrige. So one day they went out on the pasture to do some work, and there riding along and all of a sudden the horse stops and starts eating grass, the old farmer gets off and walks up to the horse and says "Thats one" so they start back on the path and the horse stops and starts bucking, so the old farmer gets off, walks up to the horse and says thats two, so he gets back on and there riding down the path a little farther and the horse just stands there, the old farmer gets off walks up to the horse and says thats three, so he hits the horse upside the head with the 2x4 kills the horse dead. The old farmer gets back in the carrige and his wife says, what the hell did you do that for, you know that was are only horse, the old farmer looks and his wife and says "Thats One"

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try to throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when



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