Ringing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don`t answer!

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I more...

I don`t like the sound of my phone ringing, so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can`t hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this [ [ [ ] ] ] [ [ ] ] [ [ [ ] [.

Four international businessmen are on the golf course, and there is a ringing sound.
The Canadian guy goes to his golf bag, pulls out his cellular phone and talks for a minute with his office.
"Very important to be in touch these days," he says.
"Yes," his golfing partners agree. A little bit later another, a different ring is heard, and the American golfer holds his hand up to his head (as if to imitate talking on the phone) and starts talking in what is clearly a real conversation.
After the call he explains to his friends, "It's the very latest in cellular technology - a speaker is attached to my thumb, and a microphone to my pinky. You can't even tell I have it on."
A couple of holes later, a different, muted, ringing sound is heard, and the German businessman in the foursome stands erect and begins talking, again an obviously real conversation. When finished he explains, "This really is the latest in cellular technology. A more...

A Pakistani guy named Abdul was ringing in flour at his grocery store, and the bag broke, covering him with flour. Abdul rushes home to take a shower. He enters his house and his wife says to him, "Abdul, you're white, what happened to you?"
Abdul says "I was ringing in flour, the bag broke, I go take shower." He runs upstairs and he runs into his son. His son says "Daddy, you're a white man, what happened?" Abdul said "I was ringing in flour, the bag broke, I go take shower." He proceeds towards the bathroom when he is stopped by his daughter. His daughter said "Daddy, you're all white, what happened?" He screams "I've only been white for half an hour, and already I hate you damn pakies!"

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.
I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside.
I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store, there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.
I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn more...