River Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde once got lost near a river. She traveled up and
down it searching for a way to get to the other side.
She tried walking in the shallow part of the river, and
she even tried grabbing onto a branch that stretched
half way across the river to try to swing to the other
side. No matter how hard she tried
she couldn`t get across.
After many failed attempts, she finally felt like
giving up. Yet, at the last moment, she saw a person
walking by and decided to follow her--across the bridge.

A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression, he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."
With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."
And finally, he cried, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." Sermon complete, he then sat down.
After a few moments, the song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365:' Shall We Gather at the River'."

There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him.
Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
So, the man in the boat drove off.
The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get in.
Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
The person in the boat then left.
The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in.
Jim said, "That's okay."
The woman said, "Are you sure?"
Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me."
Finally, the more...

A preacher was completing a sermon on temperance. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river!"

The congregation nodded their approval. With even greater emphasis the preacher added, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river, too!"

The people clapped and said, "AMEN."

"And if I had all the whiskey in the world," said the preacher, "I'd take it and throw it into the river!"

As the reverend sat down, the song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365:' Shall We Gather at the River.'"

Two blondes were fishing on a river in B.C. They were on opposit sides of the river and using the same tackle. How ever only one young blond was catching fish, and she was catching a lot.
Finaly the other blond couldn't stand it any longer and she asked "How do you get to the other side of the river? " The other blond thought about it for a while and finaly answered " You are already there."

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in he world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
He sat down.
The head elder then stood and announced, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."