Road Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

A buisnessman was driving down an old country road when his car broke
down. "No problem" he said, "I'll just walk to this nearby farmhouse."
When he finally arrives there he walks up to the house, upon walking he sees
a pin full of chickens and loses track of what he was going to do. When the farmer answers
the door, feeling stupid, the buisnessman asks the farmer
if he can by a chicken. "Sure" says the farmer, "just one thing, around here we call them
cocks" "OK i'll take a cock" says the man. Finallly remembering what he was supposed to do
he starts walking to another farmhouse. On the way there he sees a pin
of roosters, losing track of what he was doing again, he asks the farmer to
buy a rooster. "sure thing but aroung here we call them pullits", then the
man walks away with his cock and pullit in hand when he remembers what he set out to do.
Walking up to the third more...

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, "What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!" Blonde
Blonde in a car "There was a blonde driving in a car and suddenly a tree popped up in front of her, so she swerved then another tree popped up infront of her right in the middle of the road so she swerved again and she kept swerving and dodging the trees untill she stopped.
When a cop came and asked her what happened she told him all about the trees and he looked at her and laughed and he said that it was the little tree decoration hanging from the review mirror

A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. (As he'd had a bad time in divorce court recently, and blamed the lawyers.) Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch hiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.
He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
.
"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road!", replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck".
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, more...

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead Republican in the road?
A: Vultures will eat the skunk.

The road by my house was in bad condition. Every day, I dodged potholes on the way to work, so I was relieved to see a construction
crew working on the road one morning.Later, on my way home, I noticed the men were gone and no improvement in the road. Where the crew had been working stood a new,
bright-yellow sign with the words, "Rough Road."

A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch hiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.
He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?".
"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck."
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.
Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the more...