Roller Jokes / Recent Jokes

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate
and says, "You`ve been a good cat all of these years.
Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask."
The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor
family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.
" God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy
pillow appears. A few days later, 6 mice are killed
in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven.
God meets them at the gate with the same offer that,
He made the cat.
The mice said, "All our lives we`ve had to run.
We`ve been chased by cats, dogs and even women with
brooms. If we could only have a pair of roller skates,
we wouldn`t have to run anymore." God says,
"Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted
with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how
the cat is doing. The more...

There was a cat and a mouse who went to heaven, and they were there at the same time. Well, the mouse approaches God`s throne, and God asks him, "So, how do you like it up here?" The mouse says, "It`s nice, but could I get a pair of roller skates?" God says, "Sure." So, the mouse gets his roller skates. Well, the next day, the cat approaches God`s throne, and the same question is directed at him. So, he answers, "It`s great! I didn`t know you had meals on wheels up here!"

What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?...He braces himself

What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed.
"Well, I went to the Amusement Park at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view."
"And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor.
"Yes."
"What did it say?"
"Don't stand up in the car!"

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking."

The cat thought for a mnute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."

God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.

The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again."

God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound more...

One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord.
The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know."
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."
The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven. Again, the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer.
The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to run anymore?"
The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful new more...

One day a cat loses its ninth life causes and goes to heaven.
There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let me know."
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."
The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more" and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again the Lord them and makes the same offer.
The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. We are tired of running. Do you think we could fit us with roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?"
The Lord says, "No problem" and suddenly each mouse has a beautiful pair of roller skates.
About a week later more...