Room Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man has been down on his luck and has not been with a woman for a very long time and to make matters worse he only has 2 dollars to his name.
He goes to a local brothel and asks the owner if he can have a good time there for 2 dollars.
"2 dollars, I don't think so, beat it!" says the owner
The guy starts to cry and goes on to explain all that has been going on in his life.
The owner says "ok buddy, give me the 2 dollars and go to the second floor 3rd door on the right"
The man hands over his 2 dollars and goes to the room and when he enters the only thing in the room is a chicken. He ponders it for a bit looks around the room carefully to make sure no one is watching, once he finds out no one is watching he decides he is gong to have sex with the chicken. But alas as hard as he tries he can't catch the chicken and he finally gives up and leaves.
A few months later the guys luck has turned around and he has a well paying job. He returns to more...

A man died and went to hell. There he was recived by the director angel of hell. The angel asked him "Are you from the first, second, or third world?".
The man said "I am from the free world".
The angel said "Go to department number 1".
He went there were he saw another angel. The angel said "Since this part of hell is for the free domacratic world you have the choice for the way you are going to be punished. I will take you around and you will choose what suits you".
He took him to the first room where people are being grilled on a charcoal. The man said "Ooooh this is too much for me".
He took him to the second room where people are being fried in hot oil. He said "No this is too oily for me can't you take me to somthing which suits me. The angel asked him "Where do you come from".
"I am British, said the man with a proud voice.
"OK, go to room number 627 that is good for more...

There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma. She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door. Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately.
The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had happened.
"I'm not sure, but I think she choked".

You go to a party and you see a SEXY girl across the room. You go up to her and say "Hi, I'm great in bed, what about it?".
That's direct marketing.
You go to a party and you see a SEXY girl across the room. You give your friend a tenner. She goes up and says "Hi, my friend over there is great in bed, what about it?".
That's advertising.
You go to a party, you see a SEXY girl across the room. She comes over and says, "Hi, I hear you're great in bed, what about it?"
Now that is the power of branding!

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, ''Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?''
His mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. ''I can't dear,'' she said. ''I have to sleep in daddy's room.''
A long silence was broken at last by his little voice. ''The big sissy.''

You Might Be Addicted to AOL if........ Tech Support calls "You" for help...... Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL..... You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other...... You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"..... you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's..... you've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone"..... you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it..... you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences..... you begin to say heh heh heh instead of laughing..... when someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"..... you sneak away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep...... you know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own family's...... you lie to others about your time on-line and when they more...

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!

The CEO, walks up the guy and asks - "and how much money do you make a week?"

Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $
200. 00 a week. Why?"

The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams - "here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks - "does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?"

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters - "Pizza delivery guy".