Ross Jokes / Recent Jokes

IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER - -Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great, But... there are problems that can't wait! Now Benton's fine, and Carter too, But Ross and Susan just won't do! Now who do you think that we should hire, Since both of them today I'll fire? Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see...Kerry: That's great Mark! I knew you would agree...Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt...But the paramedics just pulled up.Mark: Ok, I'm here. What have you got? Shep: This little boy has just been shot! His pulse is faint, his breath is weak.We did all we could to stop the leak.Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip... Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip? Shep: The kid's mom was getting in my hair, So I shoved her-lightly-down some stairs.Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three! Doug and Susan! Come with me! Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh don't you see? We've got some more; one, two, and three.Kerry: You've got three more? How can this be? Explain it, tell more...

IF DR SEUSS WROTE AN EPISODE OF ER - -
Kerry: Now Mark, I think this ER's great,
But... there are problems that can't wait!
Now Benton's fine, and Carter too,
But Ross and Susan just won't do!
Now who do you think that we should hire,
Since both of them today I'll fire?
Mark: Kerry, maybe we should wait and see...
Kerry: That's great Mark! I knew you would agree...
Jerry: Dr. Weaver? Sorry to interrupt...
But the paramedics just pulled up.
Mark: Ok, I'm here. What have you got?
Shep: This little boy has just been shot!
His pulse is faint, his breath is weak.
We did all we could to stop the leak.
Riley: And this woman here, she has a broken hip...
Carol: How did she fall? How did she trip?
Shep: The kid's mom was getting in my hair,
So I shoved her-lightly-down some stairs.
Mark: Benton, Kerry! Take the mom to three!
Doug and Susan! Come with me!
Riley: But wait, but wait! Oh don't you see?
We've more...

'Twas late Christmas eve, and throughout the White House
All slumbered but Socks (who was chewing a mouse)
When all of a sudden a thunderous roar
Rattled the East Wing from rafter to floor.
Unsure if the noise was just gas or artillery,
Bill Clinton took action: he deputized Hillary.
In her robe and her slippers, she trudged to the source
Of the noise and saw nothing, but then heard a coarse
Texas twang from the fireplace clamor
"Down here! Are y'all just as blind as those tinhorn reindeer?"
There, on the hearth,' midst the timber and tinder,
Sat H. Ross Perot, all covered with cinder.

"Your flue," he complained, "is disgusting with soot.
You gave far too many staff members the boot.
Cutting budgets is wonderful; better is cheaper.
But you need either Zoe's or Kimba's housekeeper.
From ashes that thick, someone's breathing might fail.
Thank goodness, like Bill, that I more...

One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids along a new bus route.

At the first stop, he picked up a fat little girl. Grover asked, "What's your name?" "Patty" she replied. She had a seat in the back of the bus.

On the next stop there was a handicapped boy named Ross. All the kids called him "Special Ross."

Then a young man named Lester Cheese loaded onto the bus, sat down, took off his shoes and began picking at his bunyons.

Finally the last stop came up, and another chubby little girl got on. Grover had never met her, so he asked her her name and her name was also Patty.

On the way to school, Grover looked in his mirror and began to laugh, He was thinking...

"Dang, I have two obese Patty's, Special Ross, Lester Cheese picking bunyons, on a Sesame Street bus!"

One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids along a new bus route. At the first stop, he picked up a fat little girl. Grover asked, "What's your name?" "Patty" she replied. She had a seat in the back of the bus.
On the next stop there was a handicapped boy named Ross. All the kids called him "Special Ross.