Rule Jokes / Recent Jokes

Female makes the rules.
Rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification.
Male can't possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules are not permitted.
If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
Female is never wrong.
If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregarious misunderstanding which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do, or did not say.
Rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
Female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason at all.
Male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances without the express written consent of the female which is given only in cases where the female wanted him to more...

College Dorm
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the
students, pointing out
some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be
out-of-bounds for all
male students, and the male dormitory to the female
students. Anybody
caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first
time." He continued,
"Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time
will be fined $60.
Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of
$180. Are there any
questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:
"How much for a
season pass?"

High school football coach Dan Lawrence received a one-game suspension under a new Connecticut rule because his team won by over 50 points.
Former Senator Lieberman explained the rule was inacted to discourage the losing side from excessive whining.
When asked what he thought about a team winning by over 50 points, basketball coach, Billy Tubbs, called this "Point-shaving."

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has, tires, or testicles,
you're going to have trouble with it.

Be RICH. This is important for you, but not for her. For her the number two rule follows.
Spend MONEY on HER. This is the most important thing for her, whether you are rich, have any money, or must lie, steal, or kill to do it.
Be TALL. Of course you have no real control over this, but if you don't do it, she will secretly and forever resent you for it and it will come out of left field to smite you. Preferably be about one foot taller than her - not for comfort or aesthetics, but because you are a trophy and, as always, the bigger the better.
Be a MINDLESS ZOMBIE RULED BY HER. Forget what you've heard about submissive Asian women. They actually rule every
relationship with insidious and painful, passive-aggressive, guilt-evoking, whiny, crying mind-control.
Have the EMOTIONAL STABILITY OF A 4-YEAR-OLD. She will be impressed and enraptured by your delight at the sight of Hello Kitty, stuffed animals, puppies, kitties, duckies, bunnies, as well as chocolates, more...

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.