Safe Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Tennessee graduate and a Bama graduate decided to rob a bank together. The Bama man plans the robbery and goes over the plan with the UT guy extensively.
The robbery begins. The Bama man drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to the Vol, "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash. Do you understand the plan?"
"Perfectly," said the Vol.
The Vol goes in the bank while the Bama man waits in the getaway car.
One minute passes. . . Two minutes pass. . . Seven minutes pass and the Bama guy is really stressing out.
Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes the Vol. He's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time he gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security guard coming out. The guard's pants and underwear are more...
A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country. The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane. She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up. Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics shed be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary. "Tell me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?" The actuary looked through his tables and said, "A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand." She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the o dds of two people having a bomb on the same plane?" Again he went through his more...
What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?-A wash and wear wolf
Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.