Saw Jokes / Recent Jokes
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. So they did. They drove it home and parked it in the street between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he ran out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it" the priest replied. The rabbi replied "Oh," then he ran back into the synagogue. He reappeared a few minutes later with a hack saw, ran to the car and cut off the last 2 inches of the tailpipe.
On a narrow mountains road a man saw a police car driving uphill backwards.- Hi guys. Why are you driving backwards?- Because we are not sure that we will find the place to make u-turn on the top of the mountain. After one hour the same man saw the same police car driving downhill backwards again.- But guys, why are you driving backwards again?- We have found the place to make u-turn up there.
Three men met at a restaurent after a long time and were discussing about evrything, basically what happened since last time they were together in the university.
Huh, I had a terrible time, my wife gave birth to twins and I noticed she was reading a book on twins sometime ago said the first man. Its strange my wife gave birth to triplets and I saw her reading the book Three Musketeers said the second man.
Third man got up immedietly and started running the moment he heared these two telling about their experiences. Why are you running asked the surprised two men. My wife is pregnent and I saw her reading " ALI BABA AND THE FORTY THIEVES" said the third man.
A ten year old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face, and went right past them straight to his room, where he quietly closed the door. For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room - with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door, and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime. This pattern continued ceaselessly until it was time for the first quarter report card. The boy walked in with his report card -- unopened -- laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it, and to her amazement, she saw more...
Three economists and three mathematicians were going for a trip by train. Before the journey, the mathematicians bought 3 tickets but economists only bought one. The mathematicians were glad their stupid colleagues were going to pay a fine. However, when the conductor was approaching their compartment, all three economists went to the nearest toilet. The conductor, noticing that somebody was in the toilet, knocked on the door. In reply he saw a hand with one ticket. He checked it and the economists saved 2/3 of the ticket price.
The next day, the mathematicians decided to use the same strategy- they bought only one ticket, but economists did not buy tickets at all! When the mathematicians saw the conductor, they hid in the toilet, and when they heard knocking they handed in the ticket. They did not get it back.
Why? The economists took it and went to the other toilet.
A father and his five year old son were at the beach, they saw two dogs engaged in the game of nature, the boy was inqusitive to find what the two dogs were doing so he asked hid dad " Dad what are the two dogs diong" the dad was embarased to explain to his smal son, so he said " Son the two dogs are having a fight and the dog on the top is winning ".
That night the smal boy suddenly woke up from bead hearing some noice and saw the father on top of his mother, boy was thrilled and shouted " keep it up dad, you are winning".
A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry.
A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked this man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidently hit this rabbit and killed it."
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.
Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, more...