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Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."
Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.
Little Leroy, of course, thought he did.
Leroy's mother, being a religious woman, wanted Leroy to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Leroy, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."
Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
Letter #1:
"Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend, more...
I tried to send an e-mail and broke my computer. How do you manage that? I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.
This article is from the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994: Befuddled PC Users Flood Help Llines, and No Qquestion Seems To Be Too Basic
AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp. technician, made sure the computer was plugged in and then asked the woman what happened when she pushed the power button.
"I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," the woman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the woman said, "this little white foot pedal with the on switch." The "foot pedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated device that helps to control the computer's operation.
Personal-computer makers are discovering that it's still a low-tech world out there. While they are finally having great success selling PCs to households, they now have to deal more...
An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!"
Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"
The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD."
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't."
The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!"
A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that should be able to accommodate our landing. This island appears to be uncharted; I am unable to find it on our maps. So the odds are that we will never be rescued and will have to live on the island for a very long time, if not for the rest of our lives. A few minutes later the plane lands safely on the island, whereupon Morris turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our pledge to the Yeshiva yet?" No Morris!" she responded. Morris smiles, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our UJA pledge?" "Oy no, I forgot to send the check!!" Now Morris laughs. "One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send our Temple Building Fund check more...
One day little Johnny asked his mother for a new bike. His mother said, "At Christmas you send a letter to Santa to ask for what you want, don't you?" "Yes," replied Johnny, "but it isn't Christmas." His mother said, "Yes, but you can send a letter to Jesus and ask him." Johnny sat down with a pen and paper and started his letter: Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy and I would like a new bike.
Your Friend,
Johnny He thought about this and decided to start a new letter. Dear Jesus,
Sometimes I'm a good boy and I would like a new bike. He thought about this and decided to write another letter. Dear Jesus,
I thought about being a good boy and I would like a new bike. He thought about this and decided that he didn't like that one either. He left and went walking around depressed when he went by a house with a small statue of Mary in the front yard. He picked up the statue and hurried home. He put the statue under the bed and more...
Credit Card Classic Sarcasm!!
Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 20th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an
uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach.
However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send more...