Septic Jokes

One hot summer I worked for the "L'il Stinker" company, a guy down the
street from us that pumped septic tanks. It actually wasn't a bad
job. Most of my day was spent driving all over backwoods San Diego
County in a big white pickup truck (San Diego County still had
backwoods then). My job was to get to the customer in advance of the
tank truck, find the septic tank, and dig down to the lid so everything
would be ready when "Sweeney" got there with the tank truck. The tank
truck was great-huge black monster with two white stripes running
down the back, a picture of a skunk, and his phone number. If you saw
it once, you remembered it instantly whenever your toilets backed up.
Over the course of the summer "Sweeney" told me a number of interesting
and possibly true stories. This has always been one of my favorites.
Sweeney got called out to this house in Rancho Santa Fe, a very ritzy
suburb. Typical more...

In the world of Real Estate, there are some pretty strange things on the printouts from our local Multiple Listings Service -- descriptions of properties for sale in our area. A typo here, missed punctuation there or just plain bad phrasing can change the entire meaning of a' sales pitch'.
Here are some examples:"Three bedroom one bath fireplace.""Room for horses, cowchickens.""Back of home faces eighteen home championship golf course.""New art-deco bath & more. Near everything. Kitchen curtains do not say.""House backs up to one year round creek." (Big creek!)"Walkin pantry." (Where's it walkin' to?)"Country home with 2nd unit. Horse set up extra garage." (That's one SMART
horse!)"Five bedroom septic. Owners anxious." (I bet!)"Septic built for granny." (What a nice family.)"Huge veranda for those balby summer evenings." (Love those balby evenings, don't you?)