Servant Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there was a man, whose servant didn't remember anything properly. One day in that man's house there was a robbery.
The man told his servant to inform the police that- Last night, the stars were shining, dogs were barking, one thief came and took my master's cow.
The servant went to the police station and said- Last night, the dogs were shining, the stars were barking, one cow came and stole my master's thief.

Udurawana went to Colombo for an official matter and called to his house over the phone.
Servant takes the receiver.
Udurawana: Who is speaking?
Servant: Servant Sir.
Udurawana: Where is the Madam?
Servant: She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
Udurawana: What?!!!! I am her husband
Servant: What can I do now sir?
Udurawana: Open the cupboard, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line.
After some time. .. there come 2 shooting sounds. .. after that. ..
Servant: Yes, I did Sir. But what can I do next Sir?
Udurawana: Open the back door, throw both of them into the swimming pool
Servant: There is no swimming pool in our house Sir
Udurawana: What...? No swimming pool?
Servant: Yes Sir
Udurawana: Sorry, wrong number! !!!!!!!

On retirement from the army, Kaka Singh and Bhola Singh settled in adjoining villages on the Kalka-Simla highway. One day Kaka Singh invited Bhola Singh to dinner to meet his visiting relations from London. Bhola Singh thought that as the path was steep it would be useful for him to take a lantern with him for use on the return journey. The party went on very well till about midnight, with a lot of wining and dining. Bhola Singh left in a jolly mood and reached home safely in the early hours.
The next morning there was a knock on the door. "Kaka Singh sent me to enquire whether you reached home safe and sound last night," the servant said. With a smile, Bhola Singh replied, "Oh yes. There was no problem."
The servant then said, "Sir, you left your lantern at our place; instead you brought along the cage of our parrot with you. I have come to return your lantern and take back the cage."

Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could draw. His dogs name was "T-Square", and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a triangle, which he did with no sweat. The accountant said he thought his dog, "Balance", could do better. He told him to fetch a dozen cookies and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem. The chemist said that was a very good stunt, but that his dog, "Apothecary", could do better yet. He told his dog to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. Apothecary did this without a hitch. All three men agreed their dogs were equally smart. They turned to the Civil Servant and asked him what his dog could do. The Civil Servant called his dog, whose name was "Coffee break", and said, "Show the fellows what you can do, old buddy." Coffee Break then stroll ed over and ate the cookies, drank the more...

The cannibal king was having dinner when a servant came running in. "Your Majesty," he said, "the slaves are revolting!" "You don't have to tell me," said the king. "I'm trying to eat them. "Where did we get these slaves anyway?" "From the country next door," replied the servant. "We must get a new butcher," said the king. "Bring me Delia Smith." "We can't, Your Majesty, she's still cooking for you." "Well, bring her to me once she's crispy enough," said the king.

A man who had asked his guest to stay for a cup of tea sent his servant to borrow some tea leaves from his neighbor. When the water started to boil he poured in some water, waiting for the return of the servant. Before long, the water started boiling again, so he had to pour in some more water. This was repeated several times until the cauldron was full and the servant still failed to come back. At this point, the man's wife suggested to him: "Since this gentleman is an intimate friend of yours, you might as well ask him to take a bath instead. "

Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments; at once.