Sheriff Jokes / Recent Jokes

As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another. .."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam. .. I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."

A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met St. Peter who said, “Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test. ”
“Oh, No! ” she said, but St. Peter said not to worry he’d make it easy.
“Who was God’s son? ” said St. Peter.
The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said “Andy! ”
“That’s interesting… What made you say that? ” asked St. Peter.
Then she started to sing “Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me…”

Blonde Escapee^
Three women escaped from prison. One was a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde.
They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage.
About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the more...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Fargo, North Dakota:A candidate for sheriff has challenged his opponents to a shootout, calling it a test of a law officer's ability to protect the public."Clearly, being the best shot doesn't necessarily make you the best sheriff, but I think it proves a point," Ken Schwab said Tuesday.Schwab wants the four other candidates to meet him June 1 at a shooting range. Each will fire 24 rounds at targets to determine the best shot, Schwab said.The challenge could be a problem for one candidate - a well-known local tax protester and convicted felon who's not allowed to possess a firearm.

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Fargo, North Dakota: A candidate for sheriff has challenged his opponents to a shootout, calling it a test of a law officer's ability to protect the public."Clearly, being the best shot doesn't necessarily make you the best sheriff, but I think it proves a point," Ken Schwab said Tuesday. Schwab wants the four other candidates to meet him June 1 at a shooting range. Each will fire 24 rounds at targets to determine the best shot, Schwab said. The challenge could be a problem for one candidate -- a well-known local tax protester and convicted felon who's not allowed to possess a firearm.

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book.

Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replies as she thinks to herself, "Is this guy blind or what?" "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "But, Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?" "But you have all this equipment, Ma'am. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I will charge you with rape," snaps the irate woman. "I didn't even touch you," grouses the sheriff. "Yes, that's true. .. but more...

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife liked to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. Although she wasn't familiar with the lake, the wife decided to take the boat out herself. She rowed out a short distance, anchored, and returned to reading her book. Along came the sheriff in his boat. He pulled up alongside her and said, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading my book," she replied... as she thought to herself, "isn't it obvious?"
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informed her.
"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?", she said.
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." replied the sheriff.
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," replied the irate woman.
"But I more...

As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."