Side Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman who was suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 years loved him very much, but she couldn't handle him any longer. He would wander about never knowing where he was or sometimes even who he was. She took him to a nursing home. At the nursing home, while the wife was filling out paperwork, a nurse had the gentleman sit in a chair. Suddenly the man starting slowly leaning to his left. The nurse ran over and put a pillow on his left side to prop him up. A few minutes later, he started leaning to his right. Again, the nurse ran over and put a pillow on his right side. Then he starting leaning forward. This time, the nurse strapped him into the chair. About this time, his wife, having completed the paperwork, walked up to him and asked, "How do you like the place?" "It's okay," he said. "But, they won't let me fart!"

Editor's Note: We get so many yo momma jokes that I decided to group them. Keep checking back, this is likely to grow

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yo mama is so fat she said she wanted a water bed so she put a big blanket around the Pacifc ocean.

yo mama is so fat she sat on a dollar and out popped four quarters, she stepped on one of those quarters and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose

yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210......was on the SCALE"

yo mama is so fat when her beeper goes off everyone thinks shes backing up."

yo mamma is so fat she is on both sides of the family.

yo mamma is so fat the only way she can fit throw the door is saying I got the power

yo mamma is so fat when she got hit by a bus she said who threw that rock."

yo mamma is so fat when she had on yellow raincoat people called taxi

yo mamma is so fat when she jumped into the ocean everyone more...

Judge Claudia Jordan of Denver slipped a message to her clerk during a trial.
The note said:
"Blind on the right side. May be falling. Please call someone."
The clerk called 9-1-1. She told the judge not to worry, help was on the way.
The judge made a noise.
"I wanted someone from maintenance," she said.
The trouble was the window blinds on the courtroom's right side. The judge appologized to the paramedics when they arrived.

two blondes walking on opposite sides of a river.one shouts over to the other."how do i get over to the other side?"the second blonde replies"der your on the other side"

Did you hear about the guy that lost his whole left side?
well hes all right now.

There's a lovely young woman in New Zealand who is getting her house redecorated. She is walking around the house with the builder, telling him what colors she is thinking of painting the walls.
They go firstly into the dining room, and she says that she'd like it painted a nice lilac color. The builder nods, before yelling out the window, "GREEN SIDE UP!"
They then move into the kitchen. The woman says she was thinking of a pale blue for this room. The builder nods, before again yelling out the window, "GREEN SIDE UP!"
They then continue into one of the bedrooms, and the woman says she wanted this one a yellow color. The builder nods once again, then yells out the window, "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The woman then finally turns to him with a puzzled expression, and says "Look, I have to ask. No matter what color I ask for, you yell out the window 'Green side up', what's going on?"
"Oh don't worry about that" says the builder more...

Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be exact. On one side of the river lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear.
One fine day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfest of berries. Then he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit.
"Hey! Hey, Teddy, get your butt over here. I've got something to show you!"
"Not now! I'm eating."
"Oh come on!" said the rabbit. "It's really important."
"No way."
"Please. It's urgent."
So the bear decided to go all the way over the wide river. It took him all day and all night to get over to the other side. He nearly drowned. And when he finally got there he was groaning and panting, and wheezing for air.
"Well, rabbit," he panted. "What did you want to tell me?"
"Hey, Teddy," the rabbit began, "look how many berries are on the other side of the river."