Slammed Jokes / Recent Jokes

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you *don't* know! Now get this.
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered nicely saying, ''Hello?''
I politely said, ''This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?''
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.
When the same person once more answered, I yelled, ''You're a jackass!'' and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word ''jackass,'' and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when more...

The other day I was on my way home from work when the most remarkable thing happened. Traffic was heavy as usual, and as I sat there at a red light, out of nowhere a bird slammed into my windshield. If that wasn't bad enough, the poor creature got its wing stuck under the windshield wiper.
Just then the light turned green and there I was with a bird stuck on my windshield. Without any other apparent options, turning on the windshield wipers seemed the only thing to do. It actually worked.
On the upswing, the bird flew off, and here is the crazy thing... it slammed right onto the windshield of the car behind me. No, it didn't get caught under the windshield wipers of that vehicle, but the car behind me was a police car.
Of course, knowing my luck, immediately the lights went on and I was forced to pull over. The officer walked up and told me he saw what had happened at the light. Trying to plead my case fell on deaf ears. He simply stated: I am going to have to write you up more...

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong? ”
The blonde replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, ‘You’ve got mail! ’”

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive, blonde, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, “Is something wrong? ” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail! ”

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when a attractive, young Indian, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive
blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to
the mail box.
She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in the
house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to
the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out
again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it
closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked
her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer
keeps giving me a message saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, our Santa, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.
A little later Santa came out of his house again, looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house he went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here Santa came again, looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him, "Is something wrong Santa ji?"
To which Santa replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail !!"