Snow Jokes / Recent Jokes

An annotated thermometer
60 Californians put on sweaters
(if they can find one in their wardrobe)
50 Miami residents turn on the heat
Wisconsinites plant gardens
40 You can see your breath
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans go swimming
35 Italian cars don't start
32 Water freezes
30 You plan your vacation to Australia
Minnesotans put on T-shirts
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
Minnesota ice cream sales peak
British cars don't start
25 Boston water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming
20 You can hear your breath
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes
Miami residents plan vacation further South
15 French cars don't start
You plan a vacation in Mexico
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10 Too cold to ski
Snow removal becomes political controversy in Chicago
You more...

There once was a nonconformist bird that decided not to fly south for the winter. He said "I've had enough of this flying south every winter, I'll just stay right here on this farm, what's the big deal, anyway?"

So he stayed. Winter came and was very cold, the nonconformist bird had never felt such cold weather and was afraid that he might freeze to death. Realizing he had made a big mistake by staying, he headed to a near by barn for shelter. On his way to the barn it began to snow. The poor bird was cold, tired and hungry. "Why did I stay?" he asked himself as he collapsed on the ground. As he lay there covered by the snow, a cow happened by.
The cow, feeling the need to relieve himself, crapped right on the bird. At first being angry the bird said, "Who did this horrible thing to me, how dare someone crap on me, I'll get him for this!" The crap was too heavy for him to free himself. But, after a while the crap began to warm him and he more...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Donut
Donut who?
Donut open till Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithfull...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Avery
Avery who?
Avery merry Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Holly
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Rudolph
Rudolph who?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Igloo
Igloo who?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!

The truck driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts.
"Say, what's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck.
"It's Snow, Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours?"
"I'm June, June Hansen," she said. "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?" she challenged the trucker some miles down the road.
"Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered with a question of his own, "having eight inches of Snow in June?"

The truck driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts."Say, what's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck."It's Snow, Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours?""I'm June, June Hansen," she said. "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?" she challenged the trucker some miles down the road."Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered with a question of his own, "having eight inches of Snow in June?"

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what herdad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait fora snow plow and follow it."Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. Shefollowed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver ofthe truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained thather dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow aplow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parkinglot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."

A couple went to a ski-lodge on their honeymoon and spent the first three days in their room making love.
When they decided to join their friends in the bar downstairs, the husband suggested they could avoid embarrassment by putting on their skiing clothes, jumping out the window and getting snow all over themselves.
Then they could stroll into the bar pretending they had been out skiing most of the time. As they walked into the bar brushing snow off of each other, the husband said in a loud voice, "Wow! Anyone who doesn't enjoy screwing must have a ski loose!"